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    A Heated Topic, Part 2

    | Kinnelon, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A woman and her two younger children go in to see a kid-friendly movie. Ten minutes later she comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but there is a preview on right now with a man on fire!”

    Me: “A man on fire? Okay, that shouldn’t be the right preview.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have kids in there!”

    (I check the theater.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a preview for Fantastic Four. The man on fire is a super hero. His special ability is that he can turn into a fireball and fly around.”

    Customer: “I don’t care who it is, he shouldn’t be on fire!”

    Related:
    A Heated Topic

    Orders With Benefits

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (There are two teenage males in line, one at the register being helped, and the other standing behind him. They seem to be friends, but are standing in line as though they are ordering separately. As there is only one register, I decide to get started on preparing the second guy’s order.)

    Me: “Hey, are you guys together or separate?”

    First guy: “Oh, we’re together. Oh wait!” *shocked look* “Did you mean like, ‘together together’, or if we’re just buying together?”

    Me: “I don’t follow.”

    Second Guy: “Are you asking if we’re dating?”

    Me: “Whichever one will make me make your food faster, I guess?”

    Some Films Are Just Sick

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Wow, I haven’t been to this theater since that movie Sex in the Time of Gonorrhea!”

    Me: “Um, what?”

    Customer: “Oops! I mean Love! Love in the Time of Gonorrhea“.

    Customer’s Friend: “I think you mean Love in the Time of Cholera.”

    Customer: “Isn’t that what I said?”

    Free Cop Holder With Drink

    | Durham, NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Movies & TV, Top

    (A customer approaches the ticket drop, holding a half bottle of wine.)

    Me: “You cannot bring that in here, ma’am. That is against the law.”

    Customer: “What! I need to bring this in! I can’t just leave it in my car! There is a law about open containers being in cars in this state.”

    Me: “How did you manage to bring it all the way here, then?”

    Customer: “Oh, it wasn’t opened when I left. I drank it on the way here.”

    Me: “So you had an open container and you were drinking on the way here in your car?”

    Customer: “No! I hung the bottle out the window on the way here, and put my head out the window when I was drinking, so it doesn’t count!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m going to call the police now. You wait here.”

    Customer: “Okay! Is he going to hold this for me while I watch my movie?”

    Bohemian Nobody

    | Durham, NC, USA | Top

    (A customer approaches the service counter.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is this the real life?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”

    Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”

    Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”

    Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”

    Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*


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