I am working as a cashier. A guy in his mid-thirties comes in wearing an “Avengers” T-shirt.
Me: “So, are you excited about the Avengers movie?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid.
Customer: “Uh, no? Should I be?”
Me: “Oh, I thought you must be a fan since you’re wearing an Avengers T-shirt.”
Customer: “Oh. No, the last X-Men movie I saw was Green Lantern.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. It was obvious he had his own problems to deal with.
I work in a video rental store.
Customer: “I’m looking for a movie.”
Being known as the smarta** of the store, I look around and say:
Me: “We’ve got those.”
Customer: “I’m looking for an action movie.”
Me: “Okay, which one?”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Which action movie?”
Customer: *Getting frustrated* “One with the guy and the girl in it!”
Me: “What are their names?”
Customer: “Shouldn’t you know? You work at a video store!”
Me: “I’m not psychic, sir. What other movies were the actors in?”
Customer: “I don’t know!”
Me: “What’s the plot?”
Customer: “The girl gets kidnapped by a bad guy and the good guy has to save her.”
Me: “So, you want the action movie that stars a guy and a girl, where the girl gets kidnapped by a bad guy and the good guy has to save her?”
Customer: “Yes! Where is it?”
I’m in a college class with an older professor the year before she retires. It’s a few days before spring break, and she’s quite put out about students missing her — admittedly tedious — class in favor of an early vacation.
Professor: “And you just know that some of them are going to end up on Girls Gone Wild. Does that awful show still exist? It used to be a big thing.”
Student: “Nowadays, we call it TikTok.”
He wasn’t wrong.
It is the day before the “Avatar” sequel, “Avatar: The Way Of Water”, is released, so our cinema is very quiet, having had no big new releases for a while. This allows a coworker and me the rare opportunity to have a quick chat between tasks.
In London at this time, there is a show called “ABBA Voyage”. It’s a concert of ABBA songs, using clever technology to recreate what the band members looked like in the late seventies, employing virtual recreations using motion capture. My coworker attended this concert last night and I am asking them about it.
A customer is also in our lobby reviewing the film times.
Coworker: “It was amazing! Gotta love those songs!”
Me: “And how did they look?”
Coworker: “The technology is really clever! You’d think they were really there. They call them virtual Avatars, but apparently, everyone calls them ABBAtars.”
Me: “What was your favourite song?”
Coworker: “It’s a toss-up between Thank You For The Music and Dancing Queen.”
The customer approaches us.
Customer: “Sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhearing. Did they turn Avatar into a musical?!”
Coworker: “What… No! We’re talking about—”
Customer: “Because if they did, then they’ve ruined it! Why does everything have to be a musical these days?!”
Coworker: “No, sir, it’s not the movie Avatar—”
Customer: “It was bad enough the first movie made the humans the bad guys, but now they’ve put songs in it? It’s becoming a happy-clappy hippie movie!”
With that, he storms off, apparently satisfied that his rant was heard, ignoring our attempts to explain the difference. My coworker looks at me with a “Did that just happen?” face.
Me: “You know, I’d love to see a tribe of super tall blue cat people put on a performance of Mamma Mia.”
I’m a substitute school bus driver, filling in for my full-time coworkers when they get ill, take a vacation, drive a field trip, or are absent for whatever reason. Most students don’t really care as long as I get them to where they’re supposed to go, and they simply get on without comment beyond perhaps, “Is this [Route]?”
One bright spring day, though, an elementary student got off the bus with a wave and a big, friendly smile.
Student: “Thanks for the ride! Your hair is so pretty! I love it!”
I smiled and thanked her.
Student: “You look like a Ghostbuster!”
Me: *Confused* “Th-thank… you?”
She nodded confidently.
Student: “It’s a compliment.”
I was too confused to ask for further clarification as she skipped down the road to her home.
I’m a white woman with dark, curly/wavy hair and a body type between Sigourney Weaver and Melissa McCarthy, so maybe she meant one of them? I’d be happy with either. I just hope she didn’t mean I look like Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, or Harold Ramis.
