(A customer walks up holding a large red bag of popcorn to be refilled.)

Customer: “Hi, could I please get a refill?”

Me: “Did you buy this popcorn today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh, that’s weird because we stopped selling these popcorn bags a month ago. We have black bags now.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I am working behind the concession stand on Thanksgiving day.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I buy some of that food over there?”

(They point to the employee’s Thanksgiving food we have to eat between shows.)

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry it’s not for sale.”

Customer: “Why not? That’s ridiculous.”

Me: “Our families brought us that food for Thanksgiving since we have to be here instead of celebrating with them. I can’t sell it to you.”

Customer: “You’re so selfish!”

(At my theater our uniforms are all black. I am tearing tickets when two teenage girls walk up. They are looking around very confused.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: *looking lost* “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: Oh! We thought you were just goth.”

Customer: “Two.”

Me: “For which movie?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Which movie would you like to see?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Can you hear me?”

Customer: “Yes, I said two!”

Me: “I heard that, but you have to tell me which movie you want to see before I can sell you a ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, I have to pick one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well how should I know what I want to see? I haven’t seen any of them yet!”

(The movie theater is small and only shows two movies. This week we were playing Grown Ups and another movie. A customer stands outside the box office looking very confused.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m confused about the movie times.”

(I print out the movie schedule and hand it to her. She looks at it for a minute but still looks lost.)

Customer: “No, it doesn’t help. It shows the times that you let the grown-ups in, but it says nothing about the children.”