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    Better Late Than Clever, Part 2

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Money

    (A kid of 11 or 12 approaches the ticket sales counter.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Kid: “Can I have a ticket for [movie]?”

    Me: “Which session time were you after?”

    Kid: “The one on now.”

    Me: “Okay, are you sure? This session has already started, and I think about 10 minutes into the actual film.”

    Kid: “No, that’s okay.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be [price].”

    Kid: “Can I get a discount?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Kid: “I missed some of my movie.”

    Me: “Um, you’re asking me for a discount because YOU turned up late to the movie?”

    Kid: “…Yeah.”

    Me: *shakes head*

    Kid: “Oh well, it was worth a try!”

    Related:
    Better Late Than Clever

    A Man Of Few Words

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working in the candy bar and am finalizing a group’s order.)

    Me: “What size drink do you want?”

    Customer: “Sprite.”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “Sprite.”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “Sprite!”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “SPRITE.”

    Me: “SIZE?!”

    Customer: “SPRITE!”

    (At this point, the customer smashes his fist on the bench and storms off, leaving his mates looking very awkward and embarrassed. Long story short: he wanted a large.)

    Related:
    A Woman Of Few Words

    My Butter Half

    | Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Top

    (A couple approaches me at the movie theater’s concession stand.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I—”

    Customer: “Give me a green tea.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have green tea.”

    Customer: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, fine! What DO you have?”

    (I point right behind me where all our sodas are clearly listed.)

    Customer: “Well, FINE! Give me a Diet Coke, then.”

    Customer Husband: “…And a large popcorn, please!”

    Me: “Sure! That all?”

    Customer Husband: “Yep!”

    Me: “Cool. You guys want butter on the popcorn?”

    Customer Husband: *giant smile* “Ye—”

    Customer: “Of course not! Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain! I can’t have BUTTER on my popcorn! Really, are you an idiot?!”

    (I go to get them their popcorn, but I purposely put way too much butter in the bucket and shovel a thin layer of popcorn on top to hide the butter.)

    Me: “Here you go!”

    Customer: “Well, finally!”

    Customer Husband: *whispers as his wife turns away* “Butter?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (The guy hands me a five dollar bill. To this day, my coworkers and I refer to him as ‘Butter Man.’)

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

    | Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Time

    (I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t 20 minutes long!”

    Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3

    | Minnesota, USA | Wild & Unruly

    Customer: “Where’s my movie?”

    Me: “Can I see your ticket real quick?”

    Customer: “I left it in my movie. I just went to get popcorn. Where’s my movie?”

    Me: “What theater are you in, sir?”

    Customer: “I want to know where my movie is!”

    Me: “Well, what movie are you seeing?”

    Customer: “MY MOVIE!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I-I’m sorry, sir. If you won’t tell me what you’re seeing, I can’t help you.”

    Customer: *throws his entire bucket of popcorn and a large soda on the floor and storms out of the theater*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

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