Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (2,011 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Urine My Way

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am a female cleaning the men’s washroom at a movie theatre. I have a large ‘closed for cleaning’ sign posted on the door. A male customer enters.)

    Me: “Hi, sorry, I’m just cleaning at the moment—”

    Customer: “That’s okay.”

    Me: “I’ve opened the wheelchair accessible washroom across the hall. You can—”

    Customer: “No, no, it’s fine.”

    (He goes to a urinal and begins to unzip his fly. Admitting defeat, I begin to leave.)

    Customer: “Please, I don’t want to put you out. You can go ahead and clean.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not going to stay in here while you’re using the urinal.”

    Customer: “Why? I really don’t mind.”

    Me: “I do.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    He Is Tea Total

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a deluxe cinema, where we provide waiting service in the screen. The trailers are on, and it’s quite loud. I’m serving an elderly couple.)

    Me: “And what would you like to drink, sir?”

    Husband: “Tea!”

    Me: “Is that English breakfast?”

    Husband: “No! Tea!”

    Me: “Yes, but is that the normal English tea?”

    Husband: *sighs heavily* “No! Tea!”

    Wife: “He’s asking what kind of tea you want, you tit!”

    Insert Subtitle Here

    | New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Top

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: *says something unintelligible*

    Me: “Pardon, sorry?”

    Customer: *unintelligible* “…flat white…” *unintelligible*

    Me: “Oh, a flat white? Sure, that’s $4.50, please.”

    Customer: *seems to ask something unintelligible*

    Me: “Pardon, sorry?”

    Customer: *says something unintelligible again, irritated*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t understand what you’re saying at all.”

    Customer: “Oh! I forgot that I was talking Swedish. I wanted to know if the flat white is in a small or medium cup.”

    Me: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was going crazy!”

    Assembling Your Change

    | Leicester, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the queue for popcorn. A young red-headed woman wearing a ‘Stark Industries’ t-shirt is ahead of me. She get’s her snacks and moves away.)

    Cashier: “Hey, miss! Excuse me!”

    (She’s fiddling with two drinks and a large popcorn and doesn’t seem to notice him calling her. He comes around the counter.)

    Cashier: “Excuse me! Hey! Miss Potts!”

    (This gets her and she half turns around.)

    Cashier: “Miss Potts, you forgot your change.”

    Red Head: “Oh, thank you!”

    Cashier: “Will that be all Miss Potts?”

    Red Head: “That will be all, Mr. Stark.”

    (She gives him a nod and a smile and moves off. He comes back behind the counter and turns to me, then laughs. I am wearing a Captain America T shirt.)

    Cashier: “And what can I get for you, Captain Rogers?”

    Has A (Com)Plain Agenda

    | New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small art house cinema. I am standing at the podium ripping tickets when an older man approaches me and immediately begins yelling at me.)

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know what’s showing? There’s no information anywhere!”

    (I point to the big red electronic sign above the counter.)

    Me: “All of the movies showing tonight are displayed up there, sir.”

    (The customer looks up and points at an abbreviated title.)

    Customer: “That useless! What’s Lord of the Ri supposed to be? How am I supposed to know what that is!?!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we also have these printed schedules which include the full movie titles and all the times showing this week.”

    Customer: “Well, what good is that?! I want to know what the films are about and it doesn’t tell me anywhere! You seriously need to do something about this!”

    Me: “The schedules include a brief synopsis, and there are also more detailed descriptions displayed on that board over there.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good to me! What about the films that are coming soon?”

    Me: “There are posters all around the foyer here with that information. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    (The man launches in to a tirade about god knows what and I have work to do, so I take the opportunity to disappear through the crowd. To my dismay, I turn around a few seconds later to find him right behind me, and at this point he continues yelling.)

    Customer: “AND YOUR CARPET IS RUBBISH!”


    Page 9/12First...7891011...Last