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    Lactose And Intolerant

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bigotry, Movies & TV

    (The movie ‘Milk’ has just come out. A man approaches the ticket box.)

    Customer: “I demand a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “I just saw Milk, what the h***? That movie was an outrage! I had no idea it was about that s***! Give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, did you read the movie description before you bought the ticket?”

    Customer: “No! Why should I?! The movie was supposed to be about what the title says!”

    A Minor Mistake

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

    (I’m currently a high school student. I look really young, about 12 or 13, so I’m not hit on very often. A customer aged about 30 walks up to me, smirking.)

    Customer: “Remember when I asked you out two years ago, and you turned me down because you said you live too far away? Well, look where we are now. I have a job at [local corporate headquarters], and you clean up people’s trash at a movie theater.”

    (He drops trash on the ground.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not who you think I am. I go to [local high school]. Also, I only date girls.”

    (The customer slowly realizes that I am both a minor and a lesbian.)

    Customer: “Oh. I’m way off, aren’t I?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (The customer picks up his trash, and scurries off with a sheepish look on his face.)

    The Sweetest Thing Isn’t The Candy

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A young boy—about seven or eight years old—walks up to my register. He is all alone, and without his parents.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    (The boy puts $7 on the counter.)

    Boy: “Hi, ma’am, do I have enough money to buy this candy?”

    Me: “Yes, you do, and you have some left over!”

    Boy: “Oh, really? Well do I have enough to buy two?”

    Me: “Yes, you do!”

    Boy: “Alright, I’ll get two! My brother is sick today, and he couldn’t come to the movie. I want to get him something so he doesn’t feel left out.”

    Me: “That’s very nice of you!”

    Boy: “I just felt bad for him. Well, thank you very much, ma’am. I really appreciate it. Have a good day!”

    (He is the nicest customer I have all day, not to mention the youngest!)

    Placebo Me, Part 7

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A mother and her six-year-old child approach the concession at around 7:00 PM.)

    Child: “I want a coke!”

    Mother: “No, sweetie, you can’t have caffeine. Would you like some root beer instead?”

    Child: “Okay!”

    Me: “Oh, actually, this brand of root beer does have caffeine.”

    Mother: “Shush! Work with me here.”

    Me: “Um… okay?”

    (I proceed to make the drink. The child wanders a short distance away, looking at a poster.)

    Me: “So, why do you not want him to know it has caffeine?”

    Mother: “Well, it’s all psychological, like a placebo. I don’t want him up all night!”

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 6
    Placebo Me, Part 5
    Placebo Me, Part 4
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

    Customers Are Like Popcorn, Sweet Or Salty

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV

    (It is a busy weekend. I have been left alone at the register during a rush. I have had several drinks spilled on myself and my register terminal, and have had countless angry customers berate me. By the time the rush dies down, I am on edge. A couple approaches my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [theater]; can I help you with anything today?”

    Wife: “Our movie doesn’t start for a half hour.”

    Me: “I… um… to be honest, ma’am, I don’t know what to do about that.”

    (I wait for her to start swearing at me, but instead, she and her husband laugh.)

    Wife: “Oh, no! We were just letting you know that we’re in no rush, and not buying anything right now. We’re not complaining!”

    Husband: “We’re definitely not complainers. We’ve been behind the counter, and we understand.”

    Me: “Oh, okay!”

    Wife: “That’s a stupid thing to complain about, anyway! Do people actually complain about things like that?”

    Me: “I’ve had stranger. A woman reported me for being too nice.”

    Husband: “Well, she was just plain salty, wasn’t she?”

    (They strike up a conversation with me for fifteen minutes about candy and customers, and the military pins on my lanyard. When their movie ends, they smile and wave goodbye. They completely turn around my evening, and I complete the shift in a brighter mood. A little kindness goes a long way!)


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