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    Post Credit Marvels

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Movies & TV

    (The credits are rolling after “Thor: The Dark World.” One post-credits scene has already played, but there has been word that there is another. Half of the theater seems to be unaware and begins filing out. The patron in front of me begins to shout.)

    Patron: “There’s one more!”

    (People continue filing out.)

    Patron’s Friend: “That was my ear!”

    Patron: “Well, get your ear out of the way! Really, there’s one more!”

    (Those who have decided to leave continue to do so.)

    Patron: “Seriously, I’m not Loki! There’s ONE MORE!”

    (People are still leaving.)

    Patron: “ENJOY IT ON YOUTUBE!”

    (Sure enough, there is one more cut scene after the credits. Sir, thank you for your valiant efforts to warn the masses!)

    Meeting The Evil Stepmother

    | USA | Family & Kids, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am visiting my grandparents for the holidays. It’s the day after Christmas. My family all go to the movies. Because I am the only kid, I go to go see Tangled. My parents and grandparents go to see an R-rated movie. Even though I am sixteen at the time, I love Disney. I am sitting in the middle row waiting for the movie to start, when an older customer and her grandchildren come in.)

    Customer: *snorts* “You should be ashamed of yourself! Someone your age seeing a Disney movie by yourself!”

    Me: “You are never too old to see a Disney movie. Besides, it’s not any of your business what I watch.”

    (The customer stomps off, taking her grandkids to the front row. I roll my eyes. Then another customer walks up to me.)

    Other Customer: “She was rude, huh? Just so you know, I am 38 years old and I love Disney. I came here by myself because my sons would not come with me. Do you mind if I sit by you?”

    Me: “Of course!”

    (The other customer and I talk about all our favorite Disney movies. We both very much enjoyed the movie, even if the grandmother was turning around to glare at us during the whole movie!)

    Handled The Change Well

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a local theater in the box office. I pride myself on quick service and being polite. I see some guys watching the line and specifically picking me to get their tickets.)

    Customer #1: “Hi! Can I get two tickets to see [Movie] please?”

    Me: “Certainly!”

    (I ring in their movie choices and show their total, reading it off to them.)

    Customer #1: “Perfect! Here.”

    (Customer #1 then hands me a roll of electrical tape. I look at him and then unroll it and realize that he has taped exact change for two tickets in quarters, dimes, and nickels. Flabbergasted, I give him a look to see if he’s attempting to play me.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude, but do you realize the amount of work this requires for me?”

    Customer #2: “But you have to accept it, right? Can’t you just count it out? I mean, it’s exactly how much our tickets are.”

    Me: “Yes, sir. I can count it up. But in order to process this order and put it in my till, I’ll need to take each coin off the strip of tape, count them, and then put them in the till.”

    Customer #1: “But… then we’ll be late for the movie!”

    (I’m still not convinced that they aren’t attempting to play me. I count out almost 20 dollars of exact change, putting it into stacks on the counter. Then I do a quick count to make sure I didn’t miss any coins.)

    Me: “Alright, sir. Everything seems to be in order. Here are your tickets.”

    Customer #2: “I’d like to file a complaint with your manager! That was one of the longest transactions I’ve ever experienced at this theater.”

    (A manager actually works the box at all times. My manager has seen my dilemma and had given me a sympathetic shrug as I counted, and apparently has heard the customer complain.)

    Manager: “I’d like you to have a look at this sign.”

    (My manager points to the sign behind the counter that informs customers of our right to refuse service.)

    Manager: “At any point [My Name] could’ve chosen not to admit you into this theater. I think that he didn’t makes up for the fact that you are going to miss the first few previews from your movie.”

    (Customer #2 glares at me. Suddenly, Customer #1, who has been silent since handing me his quarters, grabs his friend by the ear and drags him into the theater before Customer #2 can speak again.)

    I Gotta Ticket To Hide

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Wild & Unruly

    (I enter a movie theater when there is only one other customer at the counter.)

    Customer: “Hey, can I get a ticket to Insidious 2?”

    Cashier: “That’s [price].”

    Customer: “Okay.” *looks in purse* “I have three quarters.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, can’t allow you.”

    Customer: “No! You said I could go in; you WILL let me!”

    Cashier: “No, you don’t have enough; I wasn’t to know.”

    Customer: “You’ll sell me that ticket!”

    Cashier: “I can’t; it’s against policy.”

    (The customer walks outside.)

    Me: “I’d like a ticket to Justin and the Knights of Valor.”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    (I pay and go to the ticket inspector. Before I know what has happened, the customer has run back in, snatches my ticket, rushes past the ticket inspector and runs towards the ‘Insidious’ theater. The ticket inspector and I run after and enter the theater, where commercials are still playing.)

    Me: “Hey! That was my ticket!”

    Ticket Inspector: “Give him back his ticket, please.”

    Customer: “No! His ticket wasn’t ripped!” *shows ticket* “This one is.”

    Ticket Inspector: “That’s because you STOLE his ticket. Give it back.”

    Customer: “Piss off!”

    Ticket Inspector: “Give it back or I’m getting security.”

    Other Moviegoer: “Just give the d*** thing back!”

    (Others in the theater are agreeing.)

    Customer: “No. It’s mine, and you can’t prove it’s yours. You’re just a silly little boy and you think you can get what you want.”

    Ticket Inspector: *on radio* “Could security please come to screen three?”

    (At this point, the customer begins eating the ticket. The inspector tries ripping it from her hands, but she has already eaten most of it.)

    Customer: “Can’t prove it now!”

    (Security came and took her away. The ticket inspector apologized for her behavior and gave me my money back.)

    Hellish Customers

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Religion

    (While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)

    Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”

    Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”

    Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”

    Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    (The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)

    Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”

    Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”

    (Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)

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