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    Get A Sign Pointing To The Sign

    | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (When the ticket office is closed customers can buy tickets at the popcorn counter.)

    Customer: “Where can I buy tickets?”

    Me: “At the popcorn counter.”

    Customer: “Well… you should have a sign saying so!”

    Me: *pointing at a six-foot tall sign* “Do you mean like that one?”

    Customer: “Yes. You should get a sign like that!”

    Projecting Stupidity On To Others

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I’m standing outside an auditorium waiting for the last customers to leave so I can begin cleaning. A man holding a child comes out, irate.)

    Customer: “If I didn’t have my kid with me right now, I’d be kicking somebody’s a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Was there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Tell your guy up in the booth to stop shining f****** lights in people’s faces! My wife was looking for something! I don’t care if we were standing in front of people! The movie was over!”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about. We only have one story to the building and no one was manning the projectors at the time.)

    Me: “Sir, I—”

    (At this point my manager cuts me off.)

    Manager: “Yes, sir. I’ll have a talk with him. We’re sorry.”

    Customer: “Good! Next time I’m kicking somebody’s a** if he shines a light in my face!” *walks away*

    Me: “What in the world was he talking about?!”

    (The manager gestures to follow him to where the guy was sitting and points back toward the window near the ceiling where the movie was projected. The customer had stood while the credits were playing and having stood, was in the glow of the light. He had looked back and blinded himself by looking at it.)

    Parental Misguidance, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I am working at the ticket counter. One of the movies playing is a PG-13 war movie. A customer walks in with two young girls and an infant in her arms.)

    Customer: “We want three tickets for [movie].”

    Me: “Okay. You are aware that this is a PG-13 movie, correct? It will be somewhat loud and scary for young children.”

    Customer: “You have no right to tell me how to raise my children! I am working very hard to raise them, and I don’t need criticism from someone like you, who never even graduated from school!”

    (I had.)

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry. Here are your tickets.”

    (She storms off in a huff. Fifteen minutes after the movie has started, she comes barreling out of the theater, all three of her children sobbing. My manager steps forward to ask if she is okay, but the woman brushes past her and out of the building.)

    Related:
    Parental Misguidance

    Life Is Stranger Than Movie Fiction

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. I am working at one of the registers when a customer storms up to my till.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but are you the manager?”

    Me: “No, but I would be happy to fetch them for you. What is the issue, just in case I can help you out?”

    Customer: “The movie I just watched was absolutely ridiculous, and I couldn’t stand it. I want my money back for it!”

    Me: “Oh, which movie was it?”

    (The customer states the name of a movie which had just finished screening, after she had sat through the entire movie.)

    Customer: “I also want my money back for my combo as well. The popcorn was just FAR too salty!”

    (The customer has about a quarter of a large box of popcorn left in her hand, after having eaten all the rest.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t actually refund tickets for movies that you watched all the way through. If you had come out after about 15 to 20 minutes, we could have, but not after you’ve seen the entire thing. We also can’t give refunds on food that has already been eaten.”

    Customer: “That is so stupid. What kind of customer service is this? I paid for this food and that movie, but I didn’t enjoy it. Surely you are meant to keep the customer happy?!”

    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin, Part 2

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am a manager working the concession stand at a theater attached to a hotel/casino.)

    Cashier: *over radio* “Manager to register two.”

    (I head over. The cashier has a customer at her station who looks angry.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, this b**** stole my money! I paid with a hundred and she only gave me change for a fifty! I want my f****** money back!”

    Me: “Alright. Did you see what she did with the bill?”

    Customer: “Yeah! She put it below the counter!”

    (We are only allowed to keep bills $10 and smaller in the till itself. All larger bills go into a lockbox right below the cash register. I walk behind the desk and point to the lockbox.)

    Me: “She put it in here?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Now give me the rest of my money!”

    (I unlock the lockbox and remove it from its position, placing it on the counter in front of the customer. I then open it to reveal three $20 bills, and one $50 bill, which is the last bill deposited.)

    Me: “Well, sir, it looks like the last bill deposited was a fifty. Is it possible you simply forgot which bill you paid with?”

    (At this point, I know he’s lying. The cashier is one of my best employees, and the evidence is stacked against him.)

    Customer: “NO! I PAID WITH A F****** HUNDRED! I WANT MY F****** MONEY!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. If you’re that adamant, I’ll call the casino’s security.”

    Customer: “Good!”

    Me: “I just don’t like calling them. They’re so harsh about fraud. I mean, they drag people into the back room just for TRYING…”

    (The color drains out of the customer’s face.)

    Customer: “That… that’s a myth…”

    Me: “I wish it were, sir. I wish it were. Let call them.”

    (I pull my radio up, but he stops me.)

    Customer: “You know what; it’s not worth the hassle.” *to the cashier* “Enjoy the tip, b****.”

    (The customer storms off as fast as he can towards his theater.)

    Related:
    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

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