Yesterday, All My Charities Were Far Away

| Pinellas County, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(The theater company I work for does a charity promotion every summer where we ask customers to donate a dollar or their spare change. Every year, this exact occurrence never fails to happen multiple times on the first day of the promotion:)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Theater]!”

Customer: “Yes, can I get three tickets for [Movie]?”

Me: “Sure! Would you like to donate $1, or even your spare change, to [Charity]?”

Customer: “What? No, I did that yesterday!”

Me: *palmface*

The Luxury Of Name-Dropping

| Birmingham, MI, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I am the manager at a local palladium. There are 12 theatres. Two of them are bigger and the chairs are more comfy so there is an extra $1 fee per ticket for them. It says outside and inside the palladium when the movie times are for the luxury theatres.)

Customer: “Five tickets for [luxury show].”

Me: “Okay your total will be $40.”

Customer: “Wait I thought it was just $35.”

Me: Well, normally it would be, but that movie is playing in the luxury theatres so it is an extra dollar fee per ticket.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying for that! That is outrageous! I don’t care where I sit but I’m not paying the extra money! You’re trying to rip me off, aren’t you! I know your manager and I want to see him right now!”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry to inform you but that would be me and I do not recognize you.”

Customer: “You should do! We had a long conversation and everything!”

(I flip my nametag around and say:)

Me: “Sir, if you can tell me my name, I will wave the extra fee for you, and please do it fast because you are holding up the line.”

Customer: *pauses* “I’ll just pay the extra money…”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice time.”

H2Slow, Part 5

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(Over the span of a month there are several university students going through orientation. We have a deal for the orientation groups in which they receive coupons for our theater, one of which is a deal for concessions. They get a popcorn, a drink, and a candy for $7. This is clearly stated on the coupon, and yet many of the students are confused about how it works.)

Customer: “I just want a bottled water.”

Coworker: “All right, that’ll be $2.50.”

Customer: “But I have this coupon and I just want a water.”

Coworker: “Right, so that will be $2.50.”

Customer: “But I got this coupon for free.”

Coworker: “Even if you used the deal on the coupon you would still owe me money, but since you are just getting water it will be $2.50 instead of $7.”

Customer: “But I got this free coupon.”

Coworker: “You still owe me money.”

Customer: “But I just want a bottled water. I don’t want popcorn.”

Coworker: *turning to my manager* “I really don’t think it should be this difficult to understand.”

(The girl still didn’t understand but she paid for her water. Despite this conversation the other students were still confused as well.)

Related:
H2Slow, Part 4
H2Slow, Part 3
H2Slow, Part 2

A Thankless Job

| NJ, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a movie theater and always volunteer to work Thanksgiving so I can get Christmas off. Every year without fail:)

Customer: “Oh, I am so sorry that you have to work on Thanksgiving! I can’t believe you’re actually working!”

Me: “Because people like YOU are here to see movies. If you feel so bad, go home.”

Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

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