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    It’s Time To Show Them The Door

    | Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a movie theater that has its last show times at 10:30. We close 30 minutes after the last show time. A group of customers show up right at 11 and try to open our locked doors. Instead of realizing that we are closed, they start banging on the door to be let in. I try to ignore it, but my coworker gives in and opens the door for them.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are closed for the night.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not; you have a show time of 1 am for [Popular Movie] right there on your screen.”

    Coworker: “Actually that was for 1 pm, not 1 am. We close at 11.”

    Customer: “But your board says 1 am! Right there, look.”

    Coworker: “I am sorry for the confusion, but that is definitely not for 1 am. We don’t have staff here past 12 at night to sell tickets.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door?”

    Coworker: “I opened the door to tell you we are closed.”

    Customer: “But you opened the door! If you open it, doesn’t that mean you are open?”

    Coworker: “Um…”

    (I step in at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am very sorry, but we honestly don’t have any times past 10:30 at night.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just turn the projector on for us to watch the movie?”

    Me: “No, we can’t, because our systems are automated. We have very little control on when the movies get played.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door! You really shouldn’t open the door for someone if you are closed.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t want to be rude, but you were practically banging our door down.”

    Customer: “Because I didn’t know you were closed! How was I supposed to know that you were closed?”

    Me: “Because the door was locked?”

    Customer: “But I didn’t know it was locked!”

    Me: “But you couldn’t open the door…”

    Customer: “I thought it was stuck or something!”

    Me: “But not locked?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is this so hard for you to understand?!”

    (The customer storms off with her group. She then turns back.)

    Customer: “Lock your d*** door next time!”

    Re-Fill You With Joy

    | Avon, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s the middle of the day, during a down-hour between movies, so my coworker and I have nothing really to do. A little girl comes up to my counter.)

    Girl: “Excuse me, but can I have a refill?” *holds up a kids meal, so no refill*

    Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m afraid not.”

    Girl: “Oh. Okay!”

    (She runs off. I laugh a little on how cute she Is. A few moments later, the little girl shows up again.)

    Girl: “Does this get a refill?” *holds up a medium bag of popcorn, but only large items get refills*

    Me: *grimace in having to tell her bad news again* “Sorry, sweetie. Only large bags.”

    Girl: “Oh… How much is a large bag?”

    Me: “It’s [price].”

    Girl: “Okay!”

    (She leaves again. I turn back to my coworker.)

    Me: “If she comes back a third time, I giving her a refill. She’s so cute.”

    Coworker: “I know. I don’t know how you could say no to her.”

    Girl: “Excuse me, is this enough money?” *lifts her hand over to get us*

    Me: *barely glances over it* “Yep! Would you like butter with that, miss?”

    Girl: “Lots of butter!”

    (My coworker hands her the popcorn, and the girl is vibrating in excitement.)

    Girl: “Does this get refills?”

    Me: “Yep, it sure does!”

    (She runs off to her theater, screaming ‘YAAAAY!’)

    Totally Free From Thought

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer comes up to my till and hands me two movie passes and a club card.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like two for [Movie], please.”

    Me: “Here you go, two tickets for [Movie]. Enjoy your movie.”

    Customer: *takes out her debit card and puts it in the debit/credit reader*

    Me: “Oh, sorry, did you want more tickets for that show on top of the passes?”

    Customer: *takes debit card out* “No, I only need two.” *gestures at herself and husband and puts debit card in the reader again*

    Me: “Oh… well, it’s just that you keep putting your debit card in the machine but you don’t need to pay for anything, so I don’t understand—”

    Customer: “What? OH! It’s free, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay! Sorry!”

    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (We have discount five pm shows during the week, and one pm shows on weekends. People often show up at five pm on weekends wanting a discount, but most are suitably good-natured on finding out that they were using the wrong day’s newspaper to get their information. A customer comes in dropping off his teenage son.)

    Customer: “One, please.”

    Me: “That’ll be [full price amount].”

    Customer: “No, I only want one.”

    Me: “I know. It’s full price.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t. It’s discounted. The newspaper says so.”

    Me: “Our weekend schedules are different. You’re using a paper from another day. I’m sorry. I know it’s inconvenient and a lot of people make that mistake, but it is full price.”

    Customer: *getting belligerent* “No. It is discounted and I will not pay full price.”

    Me: “I really am sorry, but as I said, a lot of people make this mistake. I can’t give you the discounted price.”

    Customer: “I’m going to go get the newspaper from my car and show you and you’ll have to give me a refund.”

    (The customer pays full price for his son, who scampers inside, as several dozen pairs of eyes wait to see what will happen. Many of them have paid full price and will no doubt want refunds, too, if I give this customer one. Then, about a minute later, he reappears with a paper.)

    Customer: *arrogantly and rudely* “Why don’t you tell me what it says right here?”

    Me: *reading from newspaper* “That says 5:00 at the discounted price.”

    Customer: *beaming*

    Me: “Now why don’t you tell me what it says right here?”

    Customer: *reading from paper* “Showtimes listed are for today… only.”

    (At that point he turned and walked off, without so much as a good bye to his son. I think the son at least enjoyed the movie.)

    Related:
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

    Odds Of Finding A Seat Are Not In Their Favor

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (It is the day before Thanksgiving at the movie theater where I work and ‘The Hunger Games’ has just premiered. Obviously, we are completely swamped. All four open tills have had an unending line of customers for the past hour. Despite this, my coworkers and I are all in sync and nothing has gone wrong the whole night. Suddenly, a family I don’t recognize walks up to me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me. You need to do something about this right away.”

    Me: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

    Father: “You oversold this theater! There’re more people in there then there are seats! People are sitting in the aisles!”

    (Our computer system that alerts us when a theater is about to sell out has malfunctioned, so we stopped selling tickets to “The Hunger Games” when there were only five seats remaining, as opposed to the fifteen we would normally. My guess is that they can’t find seats together.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry that the theater is crowded. I’ve called my manager down to see what he wants us to do. In any case you will definitely get a full refund.”

    Father: “We don’t want a refund. We want to see the movie! WE can’t do that because YOU sold us tickets to a movie with no seats.”

    Me: “You see, there must be at least five open seats in the theater because we can’t sell more tickets than there are seats.”

    (I tilt my register forward so they can see it and try to sell the last five tickets, showing them that it physically won’t let me.)

    Mother: “Well you DID sell more!”

    (At this point my manager arrives. They yell at him, and he instructs me to refund the total of their tickets and concessions purchases.)

    Daughter: “Thanks for nothing. We’ll go to a theater that knows what they’re doing.”

    Me: *to my manager* “Says the people who came ten minutes late to the most popular movie of the year and expected to find three seats together.”

    (My manager later went into the theater to find nobody ‘sitting in the aisles,’ and a total of five unoccupied seats. Not together, of course.)

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