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    Clawing Back Faith In Humanity

    | New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (The cinema I work for has a large games area. They staff this area with a cash-out booth, so patrons can get out coins from their EFTPOS cards. We also help out when games break down or have issues. On this day I am working in the booth when a middle aged lady approaches me.)

    Lady: “Hey, I just thought I’d let you know, one of your claw machines is broken. These kids have been playing on it on just $2, but the machine keeps giving them free turns.”

    Me: “Oh, thank you for letting me know! I’ll see what I can do about it.”

    (As we have to make sure all the games are working and not handing out free things, I go over to check on the machine. Sure enough, there are these two seven- to nine-year-old boys playing on the crane game for the larger sized toys, and I notice that there seems to be a lot less than there were earlier that morning. I’m about to go over and tell the boys I can’t let them keep playing anymore when one of them wins a large Hello Kitty toy. He then promptly runs over to a random young lady and asks her if she would like the toy because he didn’t want it but he thought she might like it. Baffled, clearly having never met the kid before, the woman accepts. I happen to notice a lot of other people wandering around the games area with large toys. I assume most have never met the boys before. It is the cutest thing ever, so I let them win one more toy each to take home for themselves, seeing how they have given away every single other toy to strangers. After that I fix the game once their parents take them off to their movie. Cutest kids I’ve ever met.)

    A Lack Of Branding Understanding, Part 2

    | Escondido, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (A couple is ordering at the concessions stand.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a medium Coke.”

    (I get the rest of the order ready and then hand her the Coke.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t want Coke, I want root beer.”

    Customer’s Husband: “You said Coke.”

    Customer: *sighs* “But I didn’t mean Coke. By ‘Coke’ I meant ‘soda!’ She didn’t ask me what kind of soda I wanted!”

    A Lack Of Branding Understanding

    They Don’t Charge Extra For Time

    | UK | Math & Science, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Two tickets to see [Film] this evening, please.”

    Me: “Of course. Would you like to watch in 2D or 3D?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wish you had 4D, too, That would be cool!”

    Me: “Well, technically, since films are moving images our 3D films are 4D. They move through time!”

    Customer: “The fourth dimension!”

    One Large Popcorn, Extra Salty

    | Aldershot, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am working the concessions counter for the evening. It’s been a hectic shift when two customers in their 20s approach me.)

    Me: “How can I help today?”

    Male Customer: “Hey, yeah, can we get a large popcorn and a small popcorn? And uh, can you do us a favour? This is going to sound really weird…”

    Me: “Go for it!”

    Male Customer: “Well, uh. My friend and I have been playing jokes on each other for a while, and I was wondering if you could help out?”

    Me: “Uh… yeah, sure.”

    Male Customer: “Great! Could you uh, put this in the small popcorn and cover it with the popcorn so my friend cant see it?”

    (The female customer pulls out a rather large adult toy from her handbag and hands it to me as discreetly as possible – at this point I couldn’t help but laugh or deal with the customer by myself.)

    Me: “Hey, uh, [Coworker], do you think this will fit in a small popcorn bag?”

    (My coworker walks over looking mortified.)

    Coworker: “If you want to successfully hide that, I would really suggest a large popcorn.”

    Male Customer: “Okay! Change the small to a large please!”

    (I took the object behind the counter so no one could see and filled up the bag as requested and processed their order.)

    Woman Customer: “I’m really sorry. They’ve been doing this for a while now.”

    Me: *still laughing at this point* “No, no, it’s okay. This is probably the best thing to happen whilst working here. I hope it turns out all right!”

    (After they left my coworker and I had to take a moment to stop laughing and then we had to tell other coworkers and supervisors about it. To this day, I still don’t know if it was against policy or if a manager saw, but those two customers made that shift so much better!)

    Causing Bay-hem

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (Unfortunately, customers often receive gift cards from another popular chain of movie theaters as gifts, as they are sold in retail stores as preloaded gift cards. So we often get this sort of thing.)

    Customer: “Two for [Movie], please!”

    (The customer places a gift card for our competitor on the register.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are [Theater], not [Competitor], so I cannot accept this card.”

    Customer: “You’re kidding, right? My grandma got this for me! It says right on it ‘cinemas.’ See?”

    (Shoves gift card in my face.)

    Customer: “CIN-E-MAAAAS. Right there. And it’s all going to the movie company anyway, so you should take it.”

    Me: “I can’t accept gift cards for another theater. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because your grandma paid money to our competitor for this gift card, and you’d be getting tickets from us for free.”

    Customer: “But the movie company will pay you back.”

    Me: “That’s not how this works, sir.”

    Customer: “Give me the number for the movie company.”

    Me: “I don’t have that, sir.”

    Customer: “Yes, you do! They pay you to work here. Give me the number of the movie company!”

    Me: “[Theater] pays me to work here. I can give you their corporate number if you wish.”

    Customer: “Yes! GOD!”

    (I give him the number to corporate and proceed to hear him yelling into the phone that he wanted to speak to ‘Steven Spielberg or Michael Bay or one of those guys.’ The worst part? Just to shut him up, they authorized a free replacement gift card for him, which I was forced to honor at that time, and the whole time the man was mumbling about how he was right and ‘at least the directors understood him.’)

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