I’m working in a movie theater, directing customers to their theaters.

Me: *Gesturing to my left* “You’re in theater number six. You go down the hallway this way, and it’ll be the second to the last on your left.”

The customer is barely paying any attention as he fumbles with his phone.

Customer: “Theater seven?”

Me: “Theater six.”

Customer: “So, I’m going to theater seven?”

Me: “…you’re going to theater six.”

Customer: “Which way is theater seven?”

Me: “You’re not going to theater seven… You’re going to theater six.”

Customer: *Looking up, angry* “Why would you tell me I’m going to theater seven, then?!”

He stormed off in the wrong direction, and I had to correct him several times before he finally found his theater.

It is the day before the “Avatar” sequel, “Avatar: The Way Of Water”, is released, so our cinema is very quiet, having had no big new releases for a while. This allows a coworker and me the rare opportunity to have a quick chat between tasks.

In London at this time, there is a show called “ABBA Voyage”. It’s a concert of ABBA songs, using clever technology to recreate what the band members looked like in the late seventies, employing virtual recreations using motion capture. My coworker attended this concert last night and I am asking them about it.

A customer is also in our lobby reviewing the film times.

Coworker: “It was amazing! Gotta love those songs!”

Me: “And how did they look?”

Coworker: “The technology is really clever! You’d think they were really there. They call them virtual Avatars, but apparently, everyone calls them ABBAtars.”

Me: “What was your favourite song?”

Coworker: “It’s a toss-up between Thank You For The Music and Dancing Queen.”

The customer approaches us.

Customer: “Sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhearing. Did they turn Avatar into a musical?!”

Coworker: “What… No! We’re talking about—”

Customer: “Because if they did, then they’ve ruined it! Why does everything have to be a musical these days?!”

Coworker: “No, sir, it’s not the movie Avatar—”

Customer: “It was bad enough the first movie made the humans the bad guys, but now they’ve put songs in it? It’s becoming a happy-clappy hippie movie!”

With that, he storms off, apparently satisfied that his rant was heard, ignoring our attempts to explain the difference. My coworker looks at me with a “Did that just happen?” face.

Me: “You know, I’d love to see a tribe of super tall blue cat people put on a performance of Mamma Mia.”

A customer and her husband come in right around 10:00 pm.

Customer: “We’ll have two tickets to [Movie] at 10:00 pm.”

Me: “I apologize, but our last showing of [Movie] was at 9:30. I can still sell you tickets to it, but it’s probably about five minutes in at this point.”

Customer: “No, it says right on your website that it’s at 10:00 pm.”

I always cringe when I hear this because it usually means they’ve gotten the times for the other local theater, which is run by a different company and has different showtimes. And unfortunately, when people are informed of this, they get super defensive, aggressive, and rude, and try to blame it on us even though it was their mistake.

Me: “Unfortunately, our last showtime for [Movie] was at 9:30. It’s entirely possible that you looked up the wrong theater. Sometimes when you Google movie showtimes, it’ll display the showtimes for [Competing Theater] that’s about ten minutes down the road.”

Customer: *Becoming irate* “No, I looked it up on your website.”

Customer’s Husband: “It’s not a big deal. Even if the website was wrong, it’s not like the theater can change their showtimes on a whim. Let’s just get tickets since it’s only a few minutes in.”

Customer: *Pulling out her phone* “I’m gonna show you, and you’re gonna sell me tickets to the 10:00 pm showing!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I apologize, but there is no 10:00 pm showing that I can sell you tickets to.”

She turns her phone and shows it to me. It is indeed our website. At first, I’m shocked… but then I notice the issue right away.

Me: “Ma’am… you have the wrong day pulled up.”

Customer: *Not even listening* “No! It’s your website. I want tickets to the 10:00 pm showing!”

Me: “Yes, that is our website…”

Customer: *Triumphant* “Ha!”

Me: “…but you have it on the wrong day. You have it on Friday’s showtimes. And today is Wednesday. Our showtimes change on Thursdays and Fridays because that’s when we get new movies.”

She turns and stares at her phone.

Customer: “No, it’s your… Oh.”

She then tries to argue a little more, including claiming that “the website changed the days,” and that “she knows it said we had a 10:00 pm showtime today,” before finally relenting and buying the tickets. She also tried to get out of paying since, by the time she bought them, she had wasted almost five minutes arguing, but of course, I denied this.

Her husband later came up and apologized for her. He knew it was total bullcrap and said she probably wasn’t paying attention and just picked a random day on the website.

At the theatre where I work, we have two registers that don’t have money in them as they are card checkout only. I am constantly calling out, “If you have a card, I can take your order,” because sometimes I have no people in my line.

On Christmas, we got SLAMMED. I kept getting customers trying to give me their cards, and it wasn’t a problem for the most part, until this mom came up with her four kids. She kept trying to get each one to order their own meal which not only slowed things down but would upset her when they would get shy. When it came time to pay, she pulled out a hundred-dollar bill.

Customer: “I want my change in dollars, please.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a card-only line.”

Customer: *Angrily* “You should’ve told me instead of wasting my time and my kids’ time!”

I pointed to the sign indicating that this register is card-only.

Me: “I did say that it was a card-only line.”

Customer: “No! This is your fault!”

She kept insisting on this, until…

Customer #2: “Would you hurry up? My movie just started!”

Afterward, she tried to tell my manager that I was rude and lied to her.

It’s the day before Christmas and I have the next two days off. A close friend and coworker has just come in while I’m about to leave, and I’ve brought a Christmas gift for her. There are only one or two people in the lobby, so we have a coworker watch the concession stand and quickly go to the back — an area that’s partially visible to customers, but is a decent distance away — so I can give her her present.

She opens her present and squeals with delight. We put it in a cupboard in the back for safekeeping and return to the front.

From the time we head back to when we return, we’re gone for maybe sixty seconds. There’s only one customer who is at the concession stand, a middle-aged man, and he’s being helped already. But he suddenly turns and gives me a death stare.

Customer: *Sarcastic and angry* “Nice of you to bring gifts for everyone, jerk!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I said, ‘Nice of you to bring gifts for everyone!’ What, do you only bring gifts for cute girls?! Is that your game?!”

Me: “Um… I brought a gift for my friend since I’m not going to see her again until a few days after Christmas, and I’m about to leave, so this is the only time tonight where I could give it to her.”

Customer: “It’s very rude to bring gifts for one person and not everyone else, you know! F****** a**hole! Where’s my gift?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I only brought a gift for my friend.”

Customer: *Looking at my friend, practically growling* “Give me your present!”

Friend: “What? No!”

Customer: *Raising his voice* “Give it to me!”

Friend: “No, it’s mine.”

Customer: *Turning back to me, furious* “F*** you both! I’ll remember this! Merry f****** Christmas to me, I guess!”

I stuck around for a few extra minutes to make sure he didn’t come back, and I told my manager what happened before I left. Later, my friend texted me and said he actually went to the manager and tried to demand her present. Our manager promptly laughed in his face and told him we’d call the police and have him removed, physically if necessary, if he caused any more trouble. He stormed out and never came back.