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    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where do we get the glasses for [film]?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We don’t have it in 3D here.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Our theater doesn’t have 3D capability, so it’s just in 2D.”

    Customer: “What’s 2D?”

    Me: “It’s two-dimensional. You know, flat.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. We don’t get glasses?”

    Me: “No, it’s just a regular film.”

    Customer: “I’m still not getting it.”

    Coworker: *overhearing* “It’s not in 3D.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay.”

    Related:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
    Get A Life
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

    A (Po)Lite Snack

    | NM, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (The theater I work at is cheap; the tickets are roughly half-price of the regular theaters. We get a lot of families, children and seniors, but have recently had a rash of extremely rude children. I’m working concession when a young boy—about 7 years old—comes up with his Mother. He takes a long time reviewing the menu and prices, so I ask him if I can help.)

    Boy: “I need to buy snacks, please. I have $9.”

    Me: “$9 is a great amount! Let’s see what we can get for you.”

    Boy: “Hmmm. May I have a water, please?”

    Me: “Of course, but if you’d like, I could sell you a cup instead. The water is $2.50; the cup is $0.25 and you can refill it as much as you’d like.”

    (He agrees to get the ice cup, and starts counting his money on the counter.)

    Boy: “Ma’am? Thank you for your suggestion about the cup!”

    (Stunned that this small child is so polite and well-spoken, I turn around to see if his mom is coaching him. She’s not.)

    Me: “You’re very welcome, young man! What else may I get for you?”

    (The boy thinks a little at this point, looking at the candy case.)

    Boy: “Every month I take my mom on a date. I already took her to dinner, then we got ice cream, and now I’m taking her to a movie! I need to make sure I treat her right!”

    Me: “That’s so thoughtful! You are a wonderful son, and a very polite young man!”

    Boy: “I love my mom. She’s the best!” *smiles*

    (Moved by his thoughtfulness, his manners, and his absolutely charming smile, I decide to help him out a bit.)

    Me: “Okay, here you are: your cup, a popcorn and a candy. It’ll be $3.25.”

    Boy: *confused look* “Okay?”

    (He hands me $4 after I assure him that his total is $3.25, so I start ringing him up.)

    Boy: “Ma’am? Can you keep the change for yourself as a tip?”

    (My heart melts at this. I did keep the change, but I put it toward the remaining $3.25 I hadn’t charged him, and then covered the rest out of my own pocket. He thanked me again and walked off hand-in-hand with his mom. All of the employees were tickled to see this little boy on his ‘date’ with Mom, and were very glad we were able help by paying for part of his concession but also get to let him feel like a grown-up by paying for part of his snacks. Later, as he’s leaving, I see him putting his trash into the can in the lobby. He sees me and begins to wave.)

    Boy: *waving* “Have a very good night!”

    Rated I For Immature, Part 3

    | NY, USA | Movies & TV

    (Two older women have come in to see a popular, R-rated film. They are quite giddy and cheerful.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Two senior tickets for [film], please!”

    Customer #2: “I’m paying! Don’t let her pay, it’s her birthday!”

    Customer #1: “No, I’ve got it!”

    Customer #2: *moves between her friend and me* “No, I’m paying!” *she pays* “Don’t mind us, we’ve just escaped from the nursing home.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t tell our kids we’re here!”

    (I smile, and they go to their movie. An hour and a half later, I see them walking out, quiet and looking stunned.)

    Customer #1: “We are not telling our kids we saw that!”

    Related:
    Rated I For Immature, Part 2
    Rated I For Immature

    Seeing Red

    | NY, USA | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Two customers approach the concession stand.)

    Customer: “I’d like a small red slushie.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back with that!”

    (I go around the corner and try to get him his drink. The machine is working poorly, and I can’t get anything to come out. I pull the lever as hard as I can, with no success.)

    Me: *to my manager* “I think we have a problem.”

    (As soon as I say it, the slushie explodes out of the machine, covering me from head to toe and spreading over about a third of the concession stand. I stand there dumbfounded for a moment, then grab a paper towel, wipe off the cup, and bring it back around to the customer, who is obviously trying not to laugh.)

    Me: *to his friend* “And can I get you anything?”

    Customer’s Friend: *grinning* “Yes. A small red slushie, please!”

    Pop-Corntempt

    | WA, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (I have recently broken my foot, and the pain and brace I wear under my shoe causes a pronounced limp. I’m working in concessions on a slow day when an elderly couple approaches to order. Our kettle is popping corn directly behind me, so it’s difficult to hear.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

    Male Customer: *mumbles inaudibly*

    Me: “What can I get started for you?”

    Female Customer: “He just ordered a small popcorn.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, of course. Buttery topping?”

    Male Customer: *mumbles inaudibly*

    Me: “Sorry? Could you repeat that?”

    Female Customer: “He said butter!”

    Me: “Ah, thank you. Would you like anything to drink with that?”

    Female Customer: “Teenagers! You never listen to a word anyone says! He already ordered a small coke!”

    (I’m 24, but I brush off the comment about my age as it’s a common mistake.)

    Me: “I apologize, it’s difficult for me to hear for the corn popping.”

    (I proceed to collect the ordered items, limping as usual. I overhear the woman mumbling, but think little of it.)

    Me: “Here you are, can I get any candy or anything else for you?”

    Female Customer: “If you’re done shuffling about so lazily, I’d like you to ring me up.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I broke my foot recently. I was moving as fast as I could under the circumstances.”

    Female Customer: “Right, uh huh. Whatever excuse you need. Lazy teenagers.”

    (I complete the transaction, and go about various tasks as soon as they leave, trying to hide my obvious annoyance. After a few minutes, the man returns and leans way over the counter with a serious frown. I nervously shuffle over.)

    Me: “Welcome back, how can I help you?”

    Male Customer: “I just wanted to apologize about my hag of an old wife. She’s got some sort of stick crammed up there, and it sure ain’t mine!”

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