Featured Story:
  • Making False Bald Statements
    (1,444 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    The Day Just Got A Whole Lot More Crappy

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A very popular family film has just opened, and a lot of parents are bringing in young children and babies. It’s causing a lot of problems, as the parents and children are leaving enormous messes in the theaters, including popcorn all over the floors, spilled drinks everywhere and even dirty diapers on the seats, which means the entire surrounding area must be sanitized for health reasons. As a result, most theaters aren’t clean enough to let other customers in until less than five minutes before the next scheduled show time. I’m working as an usher, tearing tickets and letting people into the theaters. I’m still waiting on the theater showing the family film to be clean enough to let people in. A huge family with about six young children, including a baby, is among the group waiting to be let in. Finally, I’m given the go-ahead to let people in. The father of the family confronts me as I tear his ticket.)

    Father: “That took too long! I’m half-tempted to demand a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there have been a lot of young families leaving messes that need to be cleaned up. They just had to thoroughly sanitize half the theater, because several people left dirty diapers sitting on the seats.”

    Father: “Wait… so you’ll clean up if I leave my son’s diaper in the theater?”

    Me: *furious but trying to retain composure* “Please… don’t. I swear to god, don’t do it.”

    Acting Completely Out Of Line

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

    (I am the cinema manager for a nonprofit theatre. We are tiny (less than 50 seats), and we usually allow guests to congregate in the lounge. However, we have just opened a controversial film that was pulled due to threats right before its release, so we are handling massive demand on the opening weekend. I’m working at the front desk when this happens, about 30 minutes before show-time, and about five to eight minutes before opening the theatre for seating. A customer comes to the desk.)

    Customer #1: “Can we go in now?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. The previous show is still running. We’ll open up the auditorium about 20 to 25 minutes before show-time. In the meantime, you can join the ticket holders line.”

    (I gesture outside; it’s winter in south California and a sunny 65 degrees.)

    Customer #1: *looking around* “Where is the line?”

    Me: “Right outside.”

    (I gesture again; our lobby windows are glass, and you can clearly see the line stretching along the sidewalk.)

    Customer #1: “It’s outside? I’m not going to wait outside.”

    Me: “Well, you are free to wait in the lounge, but we will be seating from the line. If you’d like to wait inside, you can join the end of the line as it goes in.”

    Customer #1: “So if I wait inside I’ll lose my place in line? That’s unacceptable. I’m waiting right here.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are free to wait inside, but the line will seat first. We’ve had other guests waiting there for an hour or more.”

    (The customer’s husband walks up and offers to wait in the line for them, but she cuts him off.)

    Customer #1: “This is ridiculous! It’s the middle of winter! It’s too cold to wait outside!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, and we would absolutely accommodate our patrons in case of severe weather. However, again, many guests have stood outside for a very long time, and it wouldn’t be fair to allow you to skip the line. It looks like we’ll be ready for seating in a few minutes. You won’t be outside long at all.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I’m going to wait right here, and I’m going in first.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but if you wait inside, you won’t be allowed into the theatre until we have let the guests in line enter. Again, it’s only a few minutes.”

    Customer #1: “You should move the line inside! You know what? I’m going to move the line inside.”

    (I watch, stunned, as she steps outside and makes an announcement. The line starts moving through the door. I jump up.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, everyone, but we aren’t quite ready to seat yet. It should be less than five minutes.”

    Customer #2: “But SHE told us to move inside!”

    Me: “I apologize, but she doesn’t work here. If you guys will be patient for a few more minutes, we are almost ready to seat. It should be less than five minutes. Thanks for your patience.”

    (I gave a brief summary to those patient guests waiting for an hour at the front of the line that had come in at her urging, and I guess that it spread, because there were quite a few guests offering sympathies from at least the first part of the queue.)

    Yesterday, All My Charities Were Far Away

    | Pinellas County, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (The theater company I work for does a charity promotion every summer where we ask customers to donate a dollar or their spare change. Every year, this exact occurrence never fails to happen multiple times on the first day of the promotion:)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Theater]!”

    Customer: “Yes, can I get three tickets for [Movie]?”

    Me: “Sure! Would you like to donate $1, or even your spare change, to [Charity]?”

    Customer: “What? No, I did that yesterday!”

    Me: *palmface*

    The Luxury Of Name-Dropping

    | Birmingham, MI, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (I am the manager at a local palladium. There are 12 theatres. Two of them are bigger and the chairs are more comfy so there is an extra $1 fee per ticket for them. It says outside and inside the palladium when the movie times are for the luxury theatres.)

    Customer: “Five tickets for [luxury show].”

    Me: “Okay your total will be $40.”

    Customer: “Wait I thought it was just $35.”

    Me: Well, normally it would be, but that movie is playing in the luxury theatres so it is an extra dollar fee per ticket.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying for that! That is outrageous! I don’t care where I sit but I’m not paying the extra money! You’re trying to rip me off, aren’t you! I know your manager and I want to see him right now!”

    Me: “Sir, I am sorry to inform you but that would be me and I do not recognize you.”

    Customer: “You should do! We had a long conversation and everything!”

    (I flip my nametag around and say:)

    Me: “Sir, if you can tell me my name, I will wave the extra fee for you, and please do it fast because you are holding up the line.”

    Customer: *pauses* “I’ll just pay the extra money…”

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice time.”

    H2Slow, Part 5

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (Over the span of a month there are several university students going through orientation. We have a deal for the orientation groups in which they receive coupons for our theater, one of which is a deal for concessions. They get a popcorn, a drink, and a candy for $7. This is clearly stated on the coupon, and yet many of the students are confused about how it works.)

    Customer: “I just want a bottled water.”

    Coworker: “All right, that’ll be $2.50.”

    Customer: “But I have this coupon and I just want a water.”

    Coworker: “Right, so that will be $2.50.”

    Customer: “But I got this coupon for free.”

    Coworker: “Even if you used the deal on the coupon you would still owe me money, but since you are just getting water it will be $2.50 instead of $7.”

    Customer: “But I got this free coupon.”

    Coworker: “You still owe me money.”

    Customer: “But I just want a bottled water. I don’t want popcorn.”

    Coworker: *turning to my manager* “I really don’t think it should be this difficult to understand.”

    (The girl still didn’t understand but she paid for her water. Despite this conversation the other students were still confused as well.)

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 4
    H2Slow, Part 3
    H2Slow, Part 2

    Page 1/1612345...Last