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    Over-spilling With Irresponsibility

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We sell hot drinks in takeaway cups. We serve them without sugar, and direct customers to the end of the counter where they can add it if they wish. My colleague has just served a woman her coffee:)

    Colleague: “Okay, that’s your latte there. Sugar is at the end of the counter if you need it. Enjoy your movie.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (The customer takes the drink, and goes to the end of the counter, where she puts her cup on an uneven pile of napkins. When she then takes the lid off, the cup tips, and covers the counter and the customer. At this point, my colleague goes over to help clean up.)

    Colleague: “Don’t worry. We will get this cleaned up, and I will get you another coffee.”

    (After he gets the coffee, the customer asks for a supervisor.)

    Customer: “I think you should take responsibility for this accident. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, but you should take responsibility.”

    Supervisor: “We should take responsibility for you placing your drink on the napkins instead of the counter, and then spilling it on yourself?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    A Potentially Arresting Development

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I’m working behind concessions. We’re an independent theater so we offer beer and wine along with the usual items.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a [Beer], please?”

    (I usually try to figure out if I need to ask for ID by seeing if they have grey hair or any kind of age marks, but this guy has a shaved head and a fairly youthful face.)

    Me: “Okay. Can I see some ID please?”

    (The guy pulls out his wallet. That’s when I spot his badge. My eyes go wide.)

    Customer: “I’m glad you asked. I didn’t want to have to arrest you.”

    (He pays for his beer and goes off to his movie. To this day, I’m not completely sure if he was kidding about arresting me.)

    Too Needy For Me

    | Albany, CA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I am making popcorn when I see a customer approach the concessions stand and turn around. I am not sure if she needs anything, but I acknowledge her anyway.)

    Me: “Hi there! I’ll be right with you.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need you. I mean, I love you, but I don’t need you.”

    Beware Of The Sweet Disposition

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Spouses & Partners

    (It’s a slow day. My coworker and I are standing at the register waiting to see if we’re having another no-show. A friendly young couple walks in and asks for two tickets to a show. Then, the girlfriend chimes in.)

    Girlfriend: “Hey, so, I see those three movies there…”

    (She points to the three poster frames in the lobby showcasing what movies we have.)

    Girlfriend: “So where do you keep the things for those?”

    Me: “Um, do you mean where do we keep the posters?”

    (The girlfriend begins shouting slowly as if I didn’t hear her.)

    Girlfriend: “THE THING FOR THE MOVIES! WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?”

    Me: “… I, I still don’t understand. Do you mean the…”

    Girlfriend: “YOU HAVE THE THREE MOVIES IN THE SIGNS! WHERE—”

    (The boyfriend quietly slides behind her and reached his hand around to her mouth. He drops what looked like a caramel block into her mouth. As soon as he did, she immediately mellowed out and they both quietly walked out of the theater.)

    Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a regular that comes in at least once every two weeks. He really enjoys talking to me, and for the first year of him coming in I don’t mind talking to him, even though he holds me in random conversations for 20 minutes at a time. On this particular day, I am discussing with him my upcoming internship abroad in Ireland, and this is the conversation that follows. Note that he is a man in his 60s, and I am an early 20s young woman.)

    Me: “Yeah, my grandma is supposedly already setting me up with an Irish guy over there.”

    Regular: “Well, you want to be careful. You know, you have your whole life ahead of you, and you still have so many things you want to do, and you don’t want to get tied down to anything, so you should take some condoms with you.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (Fast forward a couple months. It is one week before I leave for Ireland, and the regular comes back in.)

    Regular: “So when’s your last day?”

    Me: “My last day is tomorrow, but I leave next week.”

    Regular: “Okay, hold on.”

    (He goes outside. Meanwhile, my coworkers are teasing me about the regular. They know about the conversation with the condoms. The regular then comes back in.)

    Regular: *hands me a piece of paper* “This is my number. Text me when you get back. I’d like to hear all about it. Bye!”

    (He leaves.)

    Coworker: “Picking up guests, [My Name]?”

    Me: “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!”

    Coworker: “Maybe you should put him in your phone as ‘Condom.’”

    (I leave for Ireland, spend the summer there, and the experience is wonderful. I get back and reclaim my job at the theater. One evening I’m in concessions, cupping jalapenos. The regular has seen me on a previous shift, but wasn’t too creepy then.)

    Coworker #2: “Hey, this was left for you at the box, and I have no idea what it means. No one does.”

    (I read it. It is a note asking if I wanted to go to a White Tara Experience at the local Buddhist center, on such a date at such a time. At the bottom of the note read, “Let me know if you want to go. Here’s my number, give me a call. [Regular].”)


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