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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Out Of The Dirty Mouth Of Babes

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (A three-year-old girl is waiting with her family for her turn to see the doctor. She is entertaining herself by singing.)

    Girl: “I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name? My name’s [name]! Hello, hello, hello. I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name?” *approaches my desk* “What’s YOUR name, b****?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Have A Heart (Attack)

    | SK, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I work at a walk-in medical clinic located in a shopping center. It is about 20 minutes before closing and as a result, it’s only the doctor and I working. A man walks in complaining of chest pain, and goes into full cardiac arrest. I am in the back assisting the doctor for approximately 10 minutes as he stabilizes the patient and the paramedics arrive. Once the paramedics take over, I head for the front desk. There is a patient waiting.)

    Patient: “About d*** time! I have been waiting for five minutes!”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We had a patient in full cardiac arrest and the doctor required my assistance.”

    Patient: “That’s no excuse for bad service. I shouldn’t have had to wait that long. Now, I want to see a doctor.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the doctor will be leaving with the patient and paramedics to go to the hospital. We have to close a few minutes early.”

    Patient: “This is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and I need to see a doctor. I demand I be seen before the doctor leaves. Whoever else can wait; I am leaving on a trip tomorrow, and must be seen today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, emergencies take precedence. A heart attack beats a sore throat. You either have to come back tomorrow, or seek care elsewhere.”

    Patient: “I don’t care about your excuses! I am a busy, important person, and need to see a doctor now!”

    (I have lost all patience. I am about to throw her out, when the paramedics start wheeling out the cardiac-arrest patient on the gurney, followed by the doctor.)

    Patient: *still yelling* “There, the doctor is right there. He can see me before he takes care of that lazy guy!”

    Doctor: “Tell you what: have a heart attack right now, and I will be happy to assist you. Otherwise, get your insensitive a** out of my clinic and don’t ever come back.”

    (The customer storms out, but actually tries to come back the next day. She is refused. The man makes a full recovery and sends flowers, gift cards and thoughtful notes to both the doctor and me for the help.)

    No Time For Patience And Patients

    | WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    Me: “[Doctor's office]. How may I help you?”

    Patient: “I need an appointment for tomorrow.”

    Me: “How about 10:20?”

    Patient: “20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. 10:20.”

    Patient: *condescendingly* “Isn’t 10:20 just 20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. That would be 10:40.”

    Patient: “How many minutes until eleven is 10:20?”

    Me: “40.”

    Patient: “So my appointment is at 10:40?”

    Me: “No. It’s 10:20.”

    Patient: “Okay. See you at 10:40.”

    Doctors Of The Caribbean

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work at a General Practitioner’s Surgery, and I am taking phone calls from patients.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, can I book a appointment to see one of the doctors this morning?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no available appointments with the doctors today. We offer a triage service; if the triage nurse believes so, they can get you a appointment today, is this okay?”

    (The customer says something, but I cant make it out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but the line seems to be terrible today; can you repeat what you just said?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry, that’s because I’m on a boat in the Caribbean.”

    (I’m slightly confused at this point, thinking I misheard her.)

    Me: “Can I just check that you said you were in the Caribbean?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m on a cruise, but I’m not feeling well, so I want to see [doctor's name] today. Can I have an appointment to see him in the next few hours?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I cant offer you a appointment with the doctor today, due to all routine appointments being taken, and the fact you will not turn up to the appointment here, as you are hundreds of miles away out of the country.”

    Customer: “But I’m not feeling well! I am a registered patient at your surgery, and I want to see the doctor right now!”

    Me: “As I just said, I cant offer you a appointment that you have no way of turning up to.”

    Customer: “THEN MAKE HIM COME TO ME!”

    Me: “The doctors do try their best to help all patients as needed, but I am afraid asking them to fly over to you in the Caribbean at such short notice is not a feasible option. I suggest you seek the help of the medical facility on board the ship.”

    Customer: “Oh… I didn’t think of that. But when I get back, I’m going to come to the surgery and file a complaint.”

    Of Waiting And Berating

    | Gardena, CA, USA | Health & Body

    (I am visiting my doctor’s office. There is some extensive road work going on in the surrounding area, so several people have arrived late, including me. The office is extremely busy and crowded, and the receptionist is looking very harassed.)

    Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived more than 15 minutes late for your appointment. The doctor won’t be able to see you now. However, if you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available window, or you can reschedule.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll wait.”

    (I take a seat and begin to read. Meanwhile, another lady goes up to the receptionist.)

    Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived outside of the 15 minute window we allow for your appointment, so the doctor won’t be able to see you now. If you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available slot, or we can reschedule you.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I was only two minutes past the 15 minute window! I shouldn’t have to reschedule just because of two minutes!”

    Me: “Then maybe you shouldn’t have been 17 minutes late.”

    (The customer glares at me, but continues to rant at the receptionist.)

    Customer: “Why should I have to arrive on time anyway? You doctors don’t understand what it’s like for us, always having to wait! We always have to wait for you doctors; it should go both ways! You should wait for us! With as much as I’m paying, you should wait for us!”

    Me: “Look, lady, I was late for my appointment, too. That was my fault, and I accepted it like an adult. In case you hadn’t noticed, this clinic is very full today and the doctor is too busy to wait for you to decide to show up! Now you can either sit down and wait like the rest of us, or reschedule and leave!”

    (The customer goes and sits down. She continues to rant about how unfair this is, and how much more important her time is than the rest of ours. After about 10 minutes, she stands up again.)

    Customer: “I can’t wait this ridiculous amount of time!”

    (She reschedules with the receptionist. The best part? They found an open slot for my appointment only 15 minutes later!)


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