October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Annual And Null

| USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is the Monday after Thanksgiving. A patient calls the office absolutely irate.)

Patient: “I just wanted to tell you I was here last Thursday for my appointment and no one was at the office! What are you going to do about this?!”

Me: “Ma’am, last Thursday was Thanksgiving.”

Patient: “I know that! I gave up time with my family to drive all the way over there to my appointment and you couldn’t even bother to come in! How unprofessional can you be?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve NEVER been open on Thanksgiving. Our schedule isn’t even set up to accept appointments on that day.”

Patient: *smugly* “Then how come I have an appointment card for [date]? Hmmm? I’m looking at it right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know. Let me look into this.”

(Puts patient on hold and checks schedule. The next is said in my most sickeningly sweet voice.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’re right. You did have an appointment on [date]—”

Patient: “You see?! How unprofessional!”

Me: “—last year. When we were open. The card you have is over a year old.”

Patient: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” *click*

Me: *to the dead phone* “Well, maybe if you’d clean your purse out more than once a year?”


| Hendersonville, TN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(I’m the receptionist at an allergist’s clinic that’s just across the street from the city hospital.)

Man: “Hello, I’d like to fill a prescription for one [Name] for [strong allergy medicine].”

(This immediately sets off a red flag in my head, as the name he said was the name of a patient that I can recognize by his face, who comes in for weekly allergy shots, and I’ve never seen this person before.)

Me: “Really, he’s out of medicine already?”

Man: “Yeah, I guess he, uh… took too many doses?”

Me: “I don’t recognize you, sir; are you family?”

Man: “Uh, yeah, I’m Eric [Last Name].”

(I look at my coworker who is listening in, and she immediately walks to the back. The name the man just told me was the name of the normal client, but that client lives with his grandparents who share a different surname.)

Man: “I have his pill bottle if you need proof he sent me.”

(Sure enough, he produces a pill bottle, I take it and set it behind my desk and feign typing information in while an officer walks in.)

Officer: “Hey!”

(The man immediately turned pale as a ghost and tried to bolt past the officer, only to get taken down. The officer hauled the man away as he cussed and hurled threats. Apparently he was a former worker of the client’s grandparents and went through their trash to get an empty pill bottle to try to get medicine to make drugs.)

Can’t Hold A Finger To His Complacency

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am in the waiting room at an urgent care facility. A young man in his 20s walks up to the receptionist, a bloody paper towel around one hand.)

Receptionist: “Is it still bleeding?”

Caller: “Yeah. I have it in a bag, see?”

(He then pulls out a plastic bag from a pocket, with the tip of his finger inside.)

Receptionist: “You need to go to the ER.”

Caller: “Aw, man, really?”

Receptionist: “Um, yes. Yes, you really do.”

(He only seemed mildly disappointed, but turned and calmly walked out of the office.)

A Sharp Surprise

| Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body

(I’m 18, and still go to the pediatrician since I’ve gone to them most of my life. My little sister and I are there for vaccinations, and the staff are very obviously used to little kids.)

Nurse: “Okay, kiddo, I need to give you a shot. Do you want me to count to three, or just go ahead and do it?”

Me: “Surprise me.”

Nurse: “All righty! One, two…” *gives me the shot* “…and three!”

Not Quite Swimming In Emergencies

| Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office during their evening hours. This call comes in around 4:30 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, my daughter is incredibly sick I need to get her in right away.”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what is going on?”

Caller: “She is very congested, maybe a sinus or an ear infection. I’m worried about her breathing. I need to get her in as soon as possible. This is very urgent!”

Me: “I understand, but our providers have finished seeing patients for the day. We have a doctor on-call doctor who will be coming in this evening. I can schedule you for 6:30 pm if you are comfortable waiting until then.”

Caller: “Oh, no, that won’t work at all. She has swim lessons at six.”

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