Not Quite Swimming In Emergencies

| Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office during their evening hours. This call comes in around 4:30 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, my daughter is incredibly sick I need to get her in right away.”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what is going on?”

Caller: “She is very congested, maybe a sinus or an ear infection. I’m worried about her breathing. I need to get her in as soon as possible. This is very urgent!”

Me: “I understand, but our providers have finished seeing patients for the day. We have a doctor on-call doctor who will be coming in this evening. I can schedule you for 6:30 pm if you are comfortable waiting until then.”

Caller: “Oh, no, that won’t work at all. She has swim lessons at six.”

The Sign Of A Bad Week

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(Two of the three doctors in our clinic are going on vacation for a week in the middle of summer. We have signs up for a month informing people when they will be away and make sure we tell everyone who calls the dates they will be away for. During the time they are away, there is a huge sign on the door stating the walk-in is closed, as well as a huge sign on the desk that we purposely place directly in the way so people will see it. I am also off for the week while my coworker remains at the office to do paperwork. The next week I return:)

Me: “So, how many people pushed the sign on the desk out of the way to ask you to get in to see the doctor?”

Coworker: “I lost count after 12.”

Me: “When did you hit 12?”

Coworker: *sigh* “Tuesday.”

Very Time (Un)Conscious

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Time

(I am the receptionist for a chiropractor’s office. A patient had just phoned in to book an appointment.)

Me: “Good Morning! Dr. [Name]’s office. How may I help you?”

Patient: “Hi, yes, I’d like to book an appointment for this morning?”

Me: “Sure thing. I have 10:00 am if that suits you?”

Patient: “Eeeeeh, I need something earlier.”

Me: “Well I also have 9:00 or 9:15.”

Patient: “That’s too soon. I need to stop at the bank and stuff first.”

Me: “Well… I might be able to get you in for 9:45.”

Patient: “I guess I’ll just try that. I might be a little later though.”

Me: “Well, I do still have that 10:00.”

Patient: “No! That’s too late!”

Me: “Okay…  We’ll see you then.”

Stupidly Honest

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body

(I’m in a walk-in clinic paying for a doctor’s note, when I overhear an exchange between a man and a nurse about why he’s at the clinic.)

Nurse: “So, is this something work related?”

Man: “No, it’s something stupidity related.”

(At least he was honest.)

Weirdness In The Blood

| Sarasota, FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We have a patient known for saying random, off the wall things. I had just scheduled a follow up appointment for him.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the doctor would like you to have some bloodwork done two weeks prior to your next appointment.”

(I hand him the lab slip and the patient stares blankly at me for a moment.)

Patient: “What do they do with the leftover blood?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Patient: “What do they do with the blood that they don’t use?”

Me: “Um, I believe it’s discarded as they have no use for it…”

Patient: “Do you think they would give it to me?”

Me: “You want the leftover blood sample?”

Patient: “Yes. It’s MY blood.”

Me: “What would you do with it?”

Patient: “I don’t know, but I want it!”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

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