My last name is kind of difficult to spell, so whenever someone asks for my name, I just hand over my driver’s license. Usually, people see it and understand why I did that.
I recently switched primary care physicians, and I have to go through enrollment at my first appointment. The receptionist greets me by motioning “come here” with one finger, giving me no eye contact or other acknowledgement.
Receptionist: “Name?”
I start to hand over my insurance card and driver’s license.
Me: “[My Name]. I’m here for my first visit with [Doctor].”
She pushes the cards away.
Receptionist: “First name?”
Me: “…[My Name].”
Receptionist: “Last name?”
I start to spell it out.
Me: “I-N-G—”
Receptionist: “I-M-G?”
Me: “No, sorry. It’s N as in ‘Nancy,’ not M as in ‘monster’.”
Receptionist: “Okay, I-M-G—”
Me: “No, it’s N like ‘nobody’ or ‘never’. Are you sure you don’t want my ID?”
Receptionist: *Abruptly* “Fine!”
She snatches up the ID and insurance card. After a lot of typing, she tosses them back at me.
My appointment goes well, but at checkout, the receptionist still has my name spelled with an M instead of an N. I keep trying different words to get the point across.
Me: “Look, I get that they are very similar sounds, but there is no M as in ‘married’ in my name.”
Receptionist: “We’ll fix it. See you at your next appointment.”
A few weeks later, I get a letter from the office in the mail. My name is still misspelled, and they are charging me the full amount for the visit because my insurance company says I don’t have coverage with them. It’s no surprise to me, since they probably sent the information with the wrong spelling. I decide to call the office.
Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]. I got a letter from your office saying I owe the full amount for my visit, but I have insurance.”
Receptionist: “Yes, we reached out to the provider you gave us, and they rejected the claim. You are not covered by them.”
Me: “But I am. Did you bill them for [My Full Name] or the one on this bill?”
Receptionist: “The name on the bill is the one you provided. If you—”
Me: “The name on this bill is not what I provided. I gave you my ID after you repeatedly spelled my name wrong. I’m not paying a bill for [My First Name] [Wrong Last Name].”
Receptionist: “You gave us your information. If it’s wrong, that’s your fault.”
Me: “No, it’s not. I remember you specifically kept putting an M as in ‘moron’ instead of an N as in negligent.”
Receptionist: “Spell your name.”
Me: “I as in ‘idiot’, N as in ‘neglect’, G as in ‘gaslight’—”
The receptionist quickly rattles off the rest of my name.
Receptionist: “Correct?”
Me: “As long as you changed that second letter.”
Receptionist: “We will rebill and get back to you.”
A few weeks later, I got a new letter saying I only owed $40 for a copay. I filed a complaint with the practice, and they said it would be investigated. I haven’t seen the receptionist since, but that doesn’t mean she was fired.
