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  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!

    Lacks A Homely Reception

    | CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Time

    (I live under a dentist’s office and in the same complex as several other doctor’s offices and medical buildings. I am sleeping, only to be woken up to the sounds of someone try to open, then pounding on my door. Standing there is an elderly man, who tells me he is looking for [Doctor]’s office.)

    Me: *as politely as someone who’s been woken up from a deep sleep can be* “I’m sorry, sir, this is actually an apartment. Maybe your doctor is in the front of the building?”

    (Instead of just leaving he becomes irate.)

    Elderly Man: “You just want to go home early, don’t you? That’s why you won’t see me!”

    (He tries to force his way into my apartment, getting the door wide enough to look inside.)

    Elderly Man: “You need take more pride in your waiting area and make it look more professional, this looks like some crappy apartment!”

    (After going back and forth with him I finally slam the door on him and tell him firmly:)

    Me: “I am  not a receptionist! You’re trying to force your way into my home and if you do not leave now I’ll be calling the cops.”

    Elderly Man: *yelling* “I’ll make sure you’re fired for this! [Doctor] would never let such lazy trash run his office!”

    (And with a kick to my door he disappeared to bother someone else.)

    Annual And Null

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (It is the Monday after Thanksgiving. A patient calls the office absolutely irate.)

    Patient: “I just wanted to tell you I was here last Thursday for my appointment and no one was at the office! What are you going to do about this?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, last Thursday was Thanksgiving.”

    Patient: “I know that! I gave up time with my family to drive all the way over there to my appointment and you couldn’t even bother to come in! How unprofessional can you be?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’ve NEVER been open on Thanksgiving. Our schedule isn’t even set up to accept appointments on that day.”

    Patient: *smugly* “Then how come I have an appointment card for [date]? Hmmm? I’m looking at it right now.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know. Let me look into this.”

    (Puts patient on hold and checks schedule. The next is said in my most sickeningly sweet voice.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re right. You did have an appointment on [date]—”

    Patient: “You see?! How unprofessional!”

    Me: “—last year. When we were open. The card you have is over a year old.”

    Patient: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” *click*

    Me: *to the dead phone* “Well, maybe if you’d clean your purse out more than once a year?”


    | Hendersonville, TN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

    (I’m the receptionist at an allergist’s clinic that’s just across the street from the city hospital.)

    Man: “Hello, I’d like to fill a prescription for one [Name] for [strong allergy medicine].”

    (This immediately sets off a red flag in my head, as the name he said was the name of a patient that I can recognize by his face, who comes in for weekly allergy shots, and I’ve never seen this person before.)

    Me: “Really, he’s out of medicine already?”

    Man: “Yeah, I guess he, uh… took too many doses?”

    Me: “I don’t recognize you, sir; are you family?”

    Man: “Uh, yeah, I’m Eric [Last Name].”

    (I look at my coworker who is listening in, and she immediately walks to the back. The name the man just told me was the name of the normal client, but that client lives with his grandparents who share a different surname.)

    Man: “I have his pill bottle if you need proof he sent me.”

    (Sure enough, he produces a pill bottle, I take it and set it behind my desk and feign typing information in while an officer walks in.)

    Officer: “Hey!”

    (The man immediately turned pale as a ghost and tried to bolt past the officer, only to get taken down. The officer hauled the man away as he cussed and hurled threats. Apparently he was a former worker of the client’s grandparents and went through their trash to get an empty pill bottle to try to get medicine to make drugs.)

    Can’t Hold A Finger To His Complacency

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am in the waiting room at an urgent care facility. A young man in his 20s walks up to the receptionist, a bloody paper towel around one hand.)

    Receptionist: “Is it still bleeding?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I have it in a bag, see?”

    (He then pulls out a plastic bag from a pocket, with the tip of his finger inside.)

    Receptionist: “You need to go to the ER.”

    Caller: “Aw, man, really?”

    Receptionist: “Um, yes. Yes, you really do.”

    (He only seemed mildly disappointed, but turned and calmly walked out of the office.)

    A Sharp Surprise

    | Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body

    (I’m 18, and still go to the pediatrician since I’ve gone to them most of my life. My little sister and I are there for vaccinations, and the staff are very obviously used to little kids.)

    Nurse: “Okay, kiddo, I need to give you a shot. Do you want me to count to three, or just go ahead and do it?”

    Me: “Surprise me.”

    Nurse: “All righty! One, two…” *gives me the shot* “…and three!”

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