Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,561 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Taking The Man Out Of Spiderman

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I work as a receptionist for my dad’s chiropractic office. Most of the patients are lovely, but we do have some odd ones. One patient in particular is a little bit sexist, but because he’s never intends to be outright rude, I just try to ignore his somewhat sexist comments. Today when he comes in he tries to play a little joke on me.)

    Patient: *comes up to the desk and starts pointing at a random spot on it* “There’s a spider! Get it! Get it!”

    (I casually look around, as I have had spiders sneak their way to my desk before, but I don’t see anything.)

    Me: “Where is it? I don’t see it.”

    Patient: *gives a bit of an odd look* “Right there! Get it!”

    Me: *look again but still doesn’t see anything* “I still don’t see it. I guess it got away.” *shrugs*

    Patient: *gives me another weird look* “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

    Me: “Spiders don’t really bug me.”

    Patient: “Oh… should I have said it was a snake?”

    Me: “They don’t bug me either. I actually like snakes.”

    Patient: *looks baffled* “What kind of woman are you?!”

    Doesn’t Quite Have X-Ray Vision

    | Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Money

    (I am the customer in this story. About a month or so ago I hurt my leg at work. After a long, drawn out process I have been sent by a safety development worker to a clinic that specializes in x-rays instead of just going into the hospital. I show up at least 15 minutes early, fill out the paperwork they give me, and wait at least 30 minutes to be checked in, per the usual. They check my weight, height, and health conditions, and then I’m waiting in the little room. Another few minutes later the doctor comes in and looks me over, and then sends me to get my x-rays. I’m sent back to the room where the doctor meets up with me and gives me good news. At this point I am ready to head on home, in my over-eagerness I almost passed the nurse that needed to check me out.)

    Nurse: “Hold on. I need your name.”

    Me: “Oh sorry.” *gives my name*

    Nurse: *types into the computer* “Okay, that will be $113.”

    Me: “Uh, I… don’t have any money.”

    (At this point the woman who checked me in pipes up giving me an incredulous look.)

    Woman: “How could you come in here expecting not to pay? Everyone has to pay for visits.”

    Me: “Well, for one this was worker’s comp and two, I’m Choctaw Indian. The Nation covers my bills. I’ve never had to pay for clinic visits, ever! My safety development worker from Choctaw Nation told me to come here too.”

    Woman: “Choctaw Nation never sends people here.”

    Me: “Well they told me Dr. Grider’s urgent care clinic.”

    Woman: *pauses* “This isn’t Dr. Grider’s clinic.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    Nurse: “He’s next door.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    (I got checked out by the wrong clinic. I was mortified. They took my information anyway and ended up giving me my x-rays to take next door to where I was supposed to be 40 minutes before. If I had just looked next to the ‘Urgent Care’ clinic sign I would have seen the ‘Dr. Grider Orthopedics’ sign right alongside it. Gosh, ladies. I’m so, so, sorry for the trouble I caused!)

    Good Thing Stupid Isn’t Contagious

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in an ObGyn office in lab follow up. I have the unfortunate job of calling patients for positive STD results.)

    Me: “Hello, may I speak to [Patient]?”

    Patient: “This is her.”

    Me: “I’m from Dr. [Name]‘s office . Before we proceed, I need to verify I am speaking with the patient. Can you verify this information?”

    (The patient proceeds to answer all verifying personal info.)

    Me: “I am calling about your test results. Your results for [STD] have come back positive. It is a common infection that can easily be treated by this antibiotic. Is there a pharmacy you would prefer it be called into?”

    Patient: “WTF?! YOUR TEST LIES! I know for a fact I can’t have this infection! You guys gave me birth control pills!”

    Me: “I understand that this can be a very hard news to hear, but you have tested positive and we need to treat you. When we give you birth control, we make it a point to let you know it will not protect you from STDs.”

    Patient: “Oh, I guess I missed that part. Does this mean he gave me diabetes, too?”

    Me: “No, diabetes is not sexually transmitted.”

    Patient: “I’m going to go see my regular doctor and get tested for it just in case.”

    Blood Type B(igot)

    | USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m in the waiting room at the ER, waiting for news about my girlfriend. There’s a very agitated patient at the counter with a cut on his hand, but he’s demanding to speak to a nurse before he gets any attention. )

    Patient: “I need to know if there’s any way to make sure I get the right kind of blood if I need a transfusion.”

    Hospital Employee: “Of course, we check your blood type and make sure we get a match. If you give a type A person type B blood, it can be very dangerous, so we have to be careful. But looking at your hand, I don’t think you’ll need—”

    Patient: “No no no! You filthy ingrate; you don’t understand! I want to make sure I don’t get no [racial slur] blood! You need to make sure that if I get a transfusion, it’s white blood!”

    (Everyone in the emergency room is staring at him. He turns around to glare at us all.)

    Patient: “What? You have no right to judge me! I have pride; that’s all that matters! If I want to keep my blood pure. These idiots need to make sure that happens!”

    Hospital Employee: “Sir, we don’t keep racial records on blood donors. Nor do the blood banks. We make sure there are no blood-borne illnesses, and that the typing matches.”

    Patient: “That isn’t good enough! I ain’t getting no [racial slur] blood, you hear me?”

    Hospital Employee: “Again, sir, looking at this injury, you shouldn’t need a transfusion. You’d literally have to have someone come in and donate blood to you.”

    Patient: *to me* “You! You’re white! What blood type are you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I couldn’t, in good conscience, save the life of a bigot.”

    (Everybody applauds, but the man actually passes out. They stitch up his hand, and unsurprisingly, he doesn’t need blood.)

    Inking And Thinking

    | NS, Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am a young research nurse in an emergency department. I have a large, brightly-colored sleeve tattoo. A young girl—maybe 18 to 19 years old—is visiting a patient.)

    Coworker: “Hey, come in here a minute. These girls really like your tattoo!”

    (We go through the standard appreciation and explanation.)

    Girl: “My mom always said if I got a tattoo, I would never get a decent job. Now I can tell her she’s wrong!”

    Me: “Haha, yeah. I am living proof.”

    (The girl smiles from ear to ear.)