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    Space Is His Final Frontier

    | MI, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer is at the fishing license kiosk, entering in his application. He is looking visibly frustrated.)

    Customer: “Oh, come on!”

    (I walk up to the customer.)

    Me: “Alright, can I see you go through this?”

    Customer: “I’ve already done it four times!”

    Me: “I understand. Just one more time, please.”

    (The customer types his full name in the space provided. I see the problem. Instead of ‘John L. Doe’ he writes ‘johnldoe’.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re going to need to put spaces in there.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (The customer puts the spaces in. We get to the address. He types in an equivalent of: ’123adr3$$@Clty’.)

    Me: “…alright, why don’t I just handle this?”

    Fishing For Intelligence

    | Ontario, Canada | Pets & Animals

    (At this time we are having a “fishing derby” where kids can bring fish in and we will measure them. The three biggest fish that have been caught have their measurements on a board.)

    Customer: “Are these fish measured in feet?”

    Me: “No, they are measured in inches.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “I’m positive considering the biggest according to the board would have to be 17 feet, and the only fish I can think of that can grow to be 17 feet long is a shark.”

    Customer: “You have sharks in this lake?!”

    Someone’s Not Getting Any Tonight, Part 2

    | Heber Springs, AR |

    Lady: ¬†”Hey, we’ve heard that there might be some kind of oil something on this boat…”

    Me: ¬†”Sure, let me check.” *checks*¬†”Come and look–your oil reservoir is almost completely empty. You should fill it immediately, and it will cost about $*.**.”

    Lady: ¬†”Oh, that’s a lot. How far will that get us?”

    Me: ¬†”All the way to the middle of the lake.”

    Lady’s husband: *laughs hysterically*

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    Someone’s Not Getting Any Tonight