(I work at a cellphone store in the mall, but am standing outside to greet visitors. A random patron approaches me.)
Patron: “Excuse me, do you know where [cellphone store] is?”
Me: “Turn around.”
(The customer turns around, but in a 360 degree circle.)
Patron: *frustrated* “How did that help?!”
Customer: “Can you tell me how to get to your mall?”
Me: “Sure; just tell me where you’re coming from and I’ll give you directions.”
Customer: “I’m not telling you where I live.”
Me: “That makes it hard for me to tell you how to get here.”
Customer: “Oh. Washington, D.C.”
Me: “Hop a plane to Cincinnati; call me when you get here.”
(I overhear a couple of customers shopping for Christmas lights.)
Customer #1: “Ooh, these are LEDs, so that means no electricity!”
Customer #2: “And that means no cords, right?”
Customer #1: “Well, I’m sure there are SOME cords…”
Customer #2: “Obviously something has to hold them together, but I mean no cords to stretch across the driveway and lawn!”
Customer #1: “Oh! Right!”
(My friend and I are sitting outside a store when we see a teenage girl chasing a little boy.)
Teenage Girl: “Get back here, kid! I’m not your freakin’ mother!”
Little Boy: “Can’t catch me!”
(The teenage girl catches the little boy a few feet away by the back of the shirt and picks him up. She then proceeds to walk back towards the store, smiling at us while carrying the boy upside down.)
Teenage Girl: “Nothing to see here. Cute shoes!”
Lost & Confused: This week, we feature five stories of customers who are “geographically disadvantaged!”
- For The Love Of God, Get GPS:
An employee serves as a human GPS for one completely lost customer!
- More Cars Than Common Sense:
A couple thinks they lost their car, when they’ve really lost their minds.
- For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2:
This confused hotel guest puts the “duh” in Cana-duh!
- At The Corner Of Me & Myself:
We need more than your living room to locate you, sir.
- The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4:
An airline passenger ends up in New Orleans, LA–Los Angeles, that is!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!