Driving In Laps

(I used to work as a police officer back in old Yugoslavia. One summer night, I do a routine stop for a speeder. Surprisingly, it’s an old Fiat 500. I walk up and the window rolls down. I see the driver, a man. On his lap is a woman.)

Me: “Um, sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Man: “Yes, I think I was speeding.”

Me: “You think? Well, it’s also because you have a woman on your lap.”

Man: “What are you talking about? I don’t have anyone on my lap!”

Me: “Sir, I am not stupid. There is a woman on your lap!”

Man: “Officer, I assure you there is no woman on my lap! Have you been drinking tonight?”

Me: “Okay, then. Sir, please step out of the car.”

Man: “What? I’ve done nothing wron—”

Me: “Step out of the car, sir.”

(The man comes out and so does the woman on his lap. As they exit, I look into the car and see another man in the passenger seat, also with a woman on his lap.)

Me: “Everyone step out of the car!”

(The other man and his woman friend stepped out as well, but unbelievably I saw another six women come out of the back seat, three of whom had been sitting on the other women’s laps. As they all lined up in front of me, I still couldn’t believe my eyes. Ten people — two men and eight women — somehow piled into this one tiny little car. I was so astonished that I let them go! I just made sure no one was drunk and that the driver had an open lap. Even then, I still followed them home to make sure they didn’t get into a wreck.)