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    Inex-spews-able Behavior

    | TX, USA | Health & Body

    (A woman comes in and appears clean and normal. She hands my coworker a plastic bag.)

    Customer: “Could you be a dear and throw this away? I hate having trash in my car.”

    Coworker: “Sure…”

    (As my coworker takes the bag, which isn’t sealed, stuff leaks all over her desk. She leans down to examine it, and it is vomit.)

    Customer: “That is disgusting! You spilled my vomit all over your desk. I should have your boss fire you for making me feel sick all over again!” *storms off*

    Urine Her Way

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer comes in and so far has been acting completely normal.) 

    Customer: “May I use your restroom?”

    Me: *gesturing to the sign right behind me* “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have a public restroom.”

    (Suddenly the customer grabs her crotch like a child, and starts hopping up and down. She tries to take off running to the gas station across the street, and I shout after her that they don’t have a public restroom either. I see her run out of the gas station, squat down next to the air pump, and begin peeing. She then returns to my store.)

    Customer: *sighs with relief* “When you have to go, you have to go.” *winks at me and walks out*

    Letting Loose

    , | Texas, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My bowel movements are very loose.”

    Me: *speechless*