Sharing His Alcohol Problem

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

(It’s about 1 pm when a clearly drunk and staggering man approaches me in the store. I am also a customer.)

Customer: “Hiya, pretty lady. Wanna go for a drink with me?”

Me: “Um… no, thank you. I’m very busy today and am happily married!”

Customer: “Well… too bad for you!”

(Moments later at the registers, I am in line with couple of customers behind me. The drunken customer stumbles up to them.)

Customer: “Do ya mind if I butt in line ‘ere?”

Other Customer: “Sorry, man. We were here first and the wait really isn’t that long.”

Customer: *pointing at me* “I just wanna stand next to her!”

(At this point I am having my things rung through at the till and exchange a worried glance with the cashier.)

Cashier: *to the drunken customer* “You wait your place in line, sir! Just like everybody else!” *quietly, to me, handing me my purchases* “You go on and get out of here. I’m sending someone out to get his plate number ‘cause he drove here and is clearly pretty intoxicated. Have a nice day. We’ll handle the creep!”

(I leave pretty quick and the drunk customer tries to follow me out, but is stopped by the manager. I didn’t hear what happened, but I am sure thankful the staff was keeping an eye out that afternoon!)

Suffering A Bipolar Vortex

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Canada, Wild & Unruly

(I am from California but am visiting some family in Toronto. It’s late December and extremely cold. I’m at a liquor store with my cousin when the customer behind me notices my California ID.)

Customer: “You’re a long way from home! What brings you out here?”

Me: “I’m visiting some family.”

Customer: “What do you think about the weather?”

Me: “It’s actually quite refreshing. It’s nice having a change of scenery but I don’t think I could do this all the time.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, it’s not like this all the time! It’s only cold for about five months! How dare you assume that, you ignorant American!”

Me: “No, no, no. Of course I know it’s not cold year round. I meant that I personally couldn’t deal with the winter months every year!”

Customer: “You lying b****! You’re just trying to cover your a**! You stupid Americans think we just live in igloos. I know your type!”

Me: “I promise you I don’t think that it’s this cold year round. I’ve come to visit many times in the summer.”

Customer: “Stupid American b****!”

(My cousin and I just walk away while she continues to hurl insults at me.)

Discrimi(nation), Part 2

| AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(The store I work for is run by a Vietnamese family. I am the only Caucasian working there, and the only other non-Vietnamese employee is often mistaken for being Vietnamese because of the color of his skin. We usually work together. A drunk customer comes in. Since law prohibits us from selling to people who are intoxicated, my coworker heads him off.)

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, you’ve had enough for tonight. We can’t serve you any more.”

Customer: “F*** you, c****! Get out of my way!”

Coworker: “Listen, man, there’s no need to get angry here; just go home go to bed. You can start again tomorrow.”

(The customer stumbles up to me at the till.)

Customer: “F****** c****, tryin’ ta tell me he won’t serve me.”

Me: “Sir, we won’t be serving you anymore tonight, or ever again. That word you keep using derogatorily refers to a Chinese person. The owners of this store are from Vietnam.”

Customer: “Whatever, they should all go back where they come from, starting with that fat f***!”

(I am trying not to laugh.)

Customer: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “The person you just said should go back where he comes from is pure Cree First Nations. His people have been here long before ours. Now I believe I told you we won’t be serving you anymore; get out now.”

Related:
Discrimi(nation)

Drinking Shooters All Night Long

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in line at a local liquor store. The customer in front of me has clearly had too much to drink already, and is slurring his words when he speaks. The cashier is a smaller gentleman with long hair, who doesn’t look much older than 20.)

Cashier: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I’ll tell you what you can help me with; you can give me all the money you got up in this b****!”

(The man proceeds to pull a gun out of his coat, which then falls to the ground. He stumbles after it, and points it towards the cashier, who hasn’t moved or said anything at this point.)

Cashier: “Sir, please put the gun away.”

Customer: “Not until you give me all your f****** money, you dumb-a** b****!”

(At this point, I’m ducking behind one of the displays but can still see what is going on. Suddenly, the cashier reaches over the counter, presses the clip release on the gun, and takes the clip out. The inebriated customer looks shocked.)

Cashier: “Sir, I’ve just recently returned from my tour in Afghanistan. I can tell that one, you have the safety on, two, this is an airsoft gun that you painted to look like a real gun, and three, you’re clearly far too drunk to fight back if I were to defend myself. So please, do yourself a favour; leave this store before I alert the authorities.”

(The inebriated man looks down at his gun, back up to the cashier, and then drops the gun and runs out of the store before stumbling and passing out just outside. The other customers and I are laughing at this point.)

Cashier: “Anybody want a free airsoft gun?”

He’s Talking A Load Of Bull(ion)

| Rochester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m picking up a few things near the cash register. A customer walks up to the cashier with a bottle of Goldschlager. He looks like your typical party frat-boy. I overhear his attempt to impress the attractive cashier.)

Customer: “Dude, I love this stuff. It’s so good.”

Cashier: “Yeah, my mom’s a fan too.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s really awesome. The gold flakes in it cut your throat and your stomach to get the alcohol in you faster, and get you drunk faster.”

(It is now obvious that the cashier is unenthused.)

Cashier: “Is that so?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s totally why I drink it. It gets you drunk way faster.”

(I can see that the cashier is getting annoyed with the customer’s ‘bro’ attitude, so I speak up.)

Me: “Actually, that’s just an urban legend. Gold is known for its soft malleable properties, so it’s not sharp enough to cut you like that.”

(The customer looks a little flustered.)

Customer: “Well, that’s what I heard!”

Me: “Well it’s wrong. Not to mention, I’m sure the FDA would not approve of the sale of a drink that actually could tear the lining of the stomach and throat to accelerate intoxication. The gold is just a novelty effect.”

(The guy mumbles something, pays for his liquor, and leaves; he is clearly embarrassed. I finish my selection, and go to the cashier to pay.)

Cashier: “Look at you go! Thanks so much for that. I get so tired of idiots thinking I’m impressed with how much they can drink.”

Me: “No problem!”

Page 2/712345...Last