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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Underwear For The Over-Aged

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (A very old man is wandering around the section of the store where we display the ‘sexy’ lingerie pieces.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

    Old Man: “Yes. I’m looking for something that will lift her up and push her together up there. And I don’t want her to be covered up either. I want to be able to see everything. Do you have anything like that?”

    (I try to block out the image he’s creating for me.)

    Me: “Sure… let’s see what we can find.”

    (I show him a few different bras, and we finally find one that he seems satisfied with, and a matching panty. His lady-friend—who is nearly as old as he is—joins us. The old man hands her the bra he picked out.)

    Old Man: “Here, go try this on. I want to see if I like it or not.”

    (I walk them back to the fitting room, and go to help a few other customers. The man comes back toward me.)

    Me: “So, how did you like it?”

    Customer: “It was great. You did a lovely job, you sweet little thing. Now I need to find her a shirt that’s nice and open so you can see everything. I’m old, you know. I just want to have fun.”

    Me: “That’s… excellent, sir. Let me show you what we have.”

    (After I show him a few shirts, his lady-friend emerges from the fitting room.)

    Lady Friend: “Are we ready to go?”

    Customer: “I think this is good. You don’t have anything like this at home.”

    Lady Friend: “But all my bras are from this store! See?”

    (She lifts up her shirt to show everyone in the store the bra she is wearing. I am smiling to hold back the tears.)

    Me: “Ah yes, that is one of our bras. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Do you give a discount for perverts?”

    Me: “No, sir, sorry about that. Have a great day though!”

    No Returns, Period

    | UK | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (Our store has a policy that if an item of lingerie has tags and a receipt, and is in resaleable condition, we will refund it if it is not reduced by 50% or more.)

    Customer: “Can I have a refund on this, please?” *puts bag on counter*

    Me: “Okay, is it lingerie?”

    Customer: *snorts* “Of course it is.”

    (I tip out the bag. It contains a single pair of briefs that match a bra we also sell.)

    Me: “So, you want to return these briefs? Do you have the receipt?”

    Customer: *digs through her purse* “I have it in here somewhere.”

    Me: “Um, there’s a… mark… on the inside of these briefs. I don’t think I can return them even with a receipt.”

    (Note: There is a large, very obvious blood stain on the inside of the briefs. I cannot return an item in this condition unless it is seriously faulty. I am already feeling concerned that I have handled the item before knowing about the blood stain.)

    Customer: “Why not?! They don’t fit! When I bought them, the girl said I could return them with the tags and receipt!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we can only return items in a resaleable condition and these aren’t so.”

    Customer: “She said I could return them with tags and a receipt! I have both, so you have to give me a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s a blood stain on these. We can only return items that are faulty or in a resaleable condition. I’m familiar with all our products and I know these aren’t faulty. Because of the stain, we can’t resell them so I can’t process a return either. I’m really sorry.”

    Customer: “But she said I could return them with a receipt and tags! I want to speak to a manager!”

    Me: “I will get a manager, but it won’t change anything.”

    (I go to get our department manager.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but you can only return items in a resaleable condition. Even if you wanted an exchange, which you don’t, these have a blood stain so I can’t allow you to return them.”

    Customer: “BUT THE GIRL SAID I COULD RETURN THEM WITH TAGS AND A RECEIPT, WHICH I HAVE!”

    Manager: “If you wanted to return them, you should have tried them on over another pair of pants so they wouldn’t become stained with blood. You have put my staff at risk by trying to return them in this condition, and I am not prepared to even offer you an exchange given the condition you have presented this item in. In the future, please try on briefs when you are not at ‘that time of the month’ and there won’t be a problem.”

    Customer: *gives manager a mortified look and scuttles out*

    Me: *to my manager* “Thank you!”

    Manager: “Go wash your hands. I’m sorry you had to deal with that!”

    (I washed my hands about ten times until I felt like I’d taken a full layer of skin off!)

    Please Do Not Creep Out The Employees

    , | Bozeman, MT, USA |

    (A male customer comes into our lingerie store and wanders around, looking at the merchandise.)

    Me: “Good morning, welcome to [lingerie store]. How can I assist you today?”

    Male customer: “I need to get my wife a gift.”

    Me: “Okay, what were you thinking of?”

    Male customer: “Oh, you know, underwear or something.”

    Me: “Okay, what type? Special occasion? Casual everyday?”

    Male customer: “Definitely something special. It’s our anniversary.”

    Me: “Do you know her sizes?”

    Male customer: *moves towards me* “About your size…” *looks at my chest*

    Me: “Okay, then…why don’t you show me what you’ve seen that you like?”

    Male customer: “I like…you.” *leering*

    Me: “I think you’ll like my manager then, too!” *run away to get my manager*