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    Judging A Book Search By Its Cover

    | USA | Bad Behavior

    (I’m a volunteer at my local library. I see a woman looking at our Young Adult section with a confused look on her face.)

    Me: “Excuse me, can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: *rudely* “Ugh, yes, finally! Someone is here to help. I’ve been searching for 15 minutes for a book for my daughter. She’s been wanting to read it for ages!”

    Me: “Well, if you can just give me the title and the author I can check if we have it in right now or if it’s currently checked out.”

    Customer: “Thank god someone’s doing their job around here. It’s [name of book] by [author].”

    (Before I even start typing, I realize why she isn’t finding the book, but I’ve barely begun explaining before she cuts me off.)

    Me: “Oh, I see what the problem is—”

    Customer: “Aren’t you even going to look up the book!? Every time I’ve come here, you people are incompetent! I can’t believe they pay you people any money at all!”

    Me: “Well, actually miss, I don’t receive a salary because I’m a volunteer and—”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me!? It’s no wonder you’ve been no help!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I know where the book you’re looking for is.”

    Customer: “What? I can’t believe this! You little brat! What are you trying to do, waste my entire day?”

    Me: “No, I’m very sorry to inconvenience you, but I’ve tried to tell you where the book is twice when, both times, you interrupted me.”

    Customer: “You little b****! That’s it! I’m leaving and I won’t ever be checking out any more books! Without me, you’ll go out of business! I’ll just go get the f***ing book at [chain bookstore]. We’ll see how you like that, huh!”

    (At this point, the customer storms out of the library. Hearing the lady cursing and yelling, the library manager comes out of his office asking what happened. I explain the situation.)

    Manager: “Well, where is the book? How did you know where it was without looking it up in the system?”

    Me: “I’m the one who checked it out.”

    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 4

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I’m trying to get on to the computer, but the mouse cursor is just jumping all over the screen erratically. Can I swap to a different one?”

    Me: “Of course, if there’s another one free.”

    Customer: “But how do I log off this one if I can’t get the mouse cursor to press the button?”

    Me: “I’ll come over and sort it in a second.”

    (I walk over. Instantly, I see the problem.)

    Customer: “Maybe there’s a loose wire or something?”

    Me: “Well, if you turn the mouse back the right way round, it should work.”

    Related:
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3

    Plot Twist Of The Truth

    | Mexico City, Mexico | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

    (I work at a library that opens Monday through Saturday. It is the Tuesday after a long weekend following the celebration of Mexico’s Independence Day. When I walk in, my assistant looks to be almost in tears while talking to a customer on the phone. I decide to take the call from there.)

    Me: “Good morning. This is the manager. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, nothing with, really. Since you are all a bunch of lazy a**holes. Shame on you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, I called on Sunday because I needed some very important information and no one picked up the phone. No one, you lazy b****!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but, you see, we close Sundays. Any other day we are happy to help with any information.”

    Customer: “Yeah? Well, explain this to me. I called yesterday and your s****y secretary didn’t even pick up the phone.”

    Me: “Well, because of the long weekend, we were closed this particular Monday.”

    Customer: “What the f***? You close when I need information? Are you deliberately doing this to upset me? This country doesn’t need people like you, you know?!”

    Me: “You mean, people that celebrate its independence? That’s the reason we closed. Banks close this particular day too, you know?”

    Customer: “What?! You mean banks were closed too?! Is this some kind of evil plan you’re all plotting against me?!”

    (At this point, I decide I’ve had enough of her screaming.)

    Me: “YES WE ARE! And now you know, you should never stop looking over your shoulder because we are after YOU.”

    (We never heard from that customer again.)

    A Double Bandaged Lust Story

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am looking for a book from the ‘holds’ section of my local library. An old woman, about 75 years old, approaches me.)

    Old Woman: “Excuse me, but can you see if there is a book under [name]? I left my glasses in the car, and I can’t read the print.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, there is one.” *I hand her the book*

    Old Woman: “What is the title?”

    Me:A Double Barrelled Detective Story, by Mark Twain.”

    Old Woman: “Thank you, that’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

    (Later on, I go to check out a couple books. I see the old woman in line in front of me.)

    Old Woman: *to employee* “This young man helped me find my book. I would like to thank him.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am.”

    Employee: “He volunteers here sometimes. He’s quite helpful.”

    Old Woman: “Oh! Then maybe he could help me find another book I’m looking for. All of my friends have it, and I want to know what all the fuss is about!”

    Employee: “What book would that be?”

    Old Woman: “It’s called 50 Shades of Grey.”

    Needs To Adopt A Nicer Outlook

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Religion, Top

    (I am 21, but I look about 16. I am also two weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, but with my age and the fact that I couldn’t get my act together at the time, I decide to give her up for adoption. I have the family picked, but I decide to make a trip away before I have her. I am sitting down at the library, reading a book.)

    Older Woman: “Good lord, teenagers these days! Thinking they can actually give a baby everything they need. These poor children are going to suffer!”

    (I figure she is talking about me since I am the only pregnant woman around. I stay quiet, but I am getting uncomfortable with what she is saying:)

    Older Woman: “Excuse me miss?” *she taps me on the shoulder*

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Older Woman: “How do you think you can provide for that baby? You only are going to make that child suffer. You should have accepted Christ into your heart.”

    Me: “Listen, ma’am, you have no right to judge me. First, I’m 21, out of high school, and I have my own apartment. Second, you don’t know my story, or you would realize that even though I love my daughter very much, I know I can’t provide for her, so I’ve chosen to give her a better life and will be placing her for adoption with an amazing family. Third, do you not see the cross around my neck? I am very Christian, and I know that god gave me my daughter for a reason, and he gave me her parents for another reason. Now, I do know some young parents, and they are better mothers than I could ever be. Now, if you could please let me get back to my book, I want to have a little bit of a calm time before I go back home, and make the preparations for my daughters’ birth.”

    (The older woman is very shocked and leaves. Another man who has heard what I have said looks at me, leaves for about five minutes, then comes back with a big chocolate chip muffin and a big apple juice, which he sets in front of me.)

    Man: “I saw you come in earlier with the apple juice, and after the crap that woman said, figured you and the baby could use a treat. But your comment about the young mothers that are better mothers than you? You are doing the best thing for your daughter, and you are the best mother I know.”

    (He walked away before I could say anything, but his comments made me cry in the good way. Two weeks later, my daughter was born, and she has the best parents around, and she will have so much support. To that man, thank you for what you said and did.)


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