Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,882 thumbs up)
  • This Patron Has A Drinking Problem

    | Houston, TX, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work at the circulation desk at a small academic library.)

    Patron: *very red-faced* “Um, can you do something?”

    Me: “…about?”

    Patron: “There’s a woman in the computer lab and she… um…”

    (My coworker and I finally manage to get it out of the stammering, embarrassed man that a woman apparently has breastfed her infant and forgot to ‘tuck herself back in’ after the infant was finished eating.)

    Coworker: “Oh, boy. You want this one?”

    Me: “Got it.”

    (I walk up to the woman and lean down quietly to her ear.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we don’t allow open-drink containers in the library.”

    Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

    Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

    Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

    Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

    Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

    Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

    Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

    Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

    (She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

    Just Got Bumped Despite The Bump

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I am 9-months pregnant and just opening the door to the restroom as a patron taps me on the shoulder.)

    Patron: “Excuse me. Is this the ladies room?”

    Me: “Sorry. This is a single use stall, but we have restroom facilities in the main lobby.”

    Patron: “Great. That’s not too far for you to walk.”

    (The patron steps around me into the bathroom and slams the door in my face.)

    No Pranks, Just Thanks: The Comic

    | Eugene, OR | Awesome Customers, Comics

    Have a fun, festive Thanksgiving week with your family & friends!

    This Movie Is The Bee’s Knees

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (Our library has a new program where we showcase an artist’s work in our park next door. The first choice of art was a giant head made of discarded wood. After it was replaced, I have this conversation with a maintenance page.)

    Page: “I like the new sculpture much better. The giant head was a bit weird.”

    Me: “Yeah, it reminded me of The Wicker Man.”

    Page: “What’s that?”

    Me: “It’s a horror movie. The newer one has Nicolas Cage—”

    (Suddenly, a library patron nearby begins shouting.)

    Patron: “Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!”

    Page: “I have got to see this movie.”

    Page 5/32First...34567...Last