We have just opened for the day and the first person to walk in is a man with his young daughter. He has a thick accent and English is not his first language, so when he comes up to the desk to ask a question, it’s difficult to understand what he’s asking.

I’m eventually able to tell that he’s asking where the children’s side is. I point him in the right direction and he and his daughter are on their way. A minute or so later, I see him leave but not with the little girl. My coworker notices it, too, and before I can say something, she gets up and calls out to the guy.

He’s on his way to work but came here first to drop off his daughter for the day! We tell him that he cannot leave her here because we are not a daycare. He just keeps on saying he has to get to work.

Eventually, we are able to get him to understand that we cannot watch his daughter and he goes back to get her and leaves. Now, this would not be the first time a parent left their very young child on the kid’s side thinking we would watch them, but they at least always stayed in the building. This one just took the cake.

I work at a small-town library. A certain patron will come in, dart straight to the nonfiction section, and grab the same book each time to bring it up to the front desk.

Patron: “Is there any chance that this book will go on sale?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are a library. If you have a library card with us, you are welcome to check it out, but the book is not for sale.”

Patron: “I don’t have a library card with you guys. I no longer live in the area, but this is the only library that has this book, and I just love this book so much that I was just hoping that if it doesn’t get checked out a lot then maybe it will go to your book sale.”

We have a small book sale all year round where we sell books that have been donated or books that have been withdrawn from our system.

Me: “It is possible that if it hasn’t been checked out in years then we will withdraw it from our system and put it in our book sale, but I can’t guarantee that will happen. That decision is made by our librarians.”

Patron: “Okay. Thank you very much for your time.”

I take the book back and scan it to our system, letting it know that it has been seen recently. I notice that the book hasn’t been checked out in many years but it was seen about a year ago — most likely because I had the same conversation with the same lady a year ago. While putting the book on the cart so it can be reshelved, my coworker, who witnessed the whole thing, comes up to me.

Coworker: “If she keeps on pulling the book out, then it won’t be withdrawn anytime soon. It is telling our system that at least someone is showing an interest in the book whether they check it out or not.”

Me: “Yep. Oh, well, at least she was nice.”

To add a little flair to the health crisis, our library’s air conditioning breaks in the hottest part of the summer. Our director gives us permission to close early each day once the heat inside gets too unbearable to work, so during the two weeks the repairmen need to find a part, we close between 1:00 and 3:00 pm every day. 

I am stationed at our front door handling our curbside service as patrons are not currently allowed in the building. A woman comes to the door and I fetch the books she wants.

Patron: “Oh, and I called earlier and they said you were closed yesterday, but here you are.”

Me: “That’s right. We closed yesterday at around one. Our air conditi—”

Patron: “No, you see, you were open all day yesterday. That girl on the phone tried to tell me you were closed, but here you are, open!”

Me: “Uh… we actually closed at one yesterday because our—”

Patron: “No, you were open yesterday. That girl said you weren’t, but you were because you’re open today.”

Me: “We’ll probably close today because it’s getting too hot.”

Patron: “But you were open yesterday! I know because you’re here today. Anyway! Thanks for the books!”

And she went off to her car, leaving me confused about why she was so insistent that we were open all day the day before.

I have just started my new job as a librarian. It’s our holiday party and I’m sitting with a few coworkers. I don’t remember what we are talking about, but one of my only coworkers close to my age sits next to me and I do remember what she says next.

Coworker: “So, I was reading about consensual cannibalism…”

At the library where I used to work, we had a policy; if you had a library card, you could not use a guest computer. Our guest computers required a photo ID. Also, we were a very small library in a very small town surrounded by a larger city so our guest computers were minimal and you could only be on them for thirty minutes, max. A lady came up with a friend of hers. She had a card but her friend did not.

Patron #1: “What would my friend need to use a guest computer?”

Me: “She would need to show an ID to get on.”

Patron #1: “She does not have her ID with her. Can we use my ID? I have a library card, but can we still do that?”

Me: “If you have a card, then we would not be able to use your ID to get you on a guest computer.”

Patron #1: “I will just let her use my card, then.” *Walks away*

A few minutes passed and the lady came back up a little frustrated.

Patron #1: “It won’t let me log on.”

Me: “Let me check your account.”

I scanned her card to see if she had any fines. Fortunately, she didn’t, so I just reminded her of what numbers she used to log on.

Me: “It looks like all is right with your card. Just a reminder, you will be typing the whole card number for the username and then typing in the last four digits for your PIN.”

She walked away again to try and get her friend online. After a few more minutes, she came back up.

Patron #1: “It’s still not working.”

Me: “Did you type the whole number in the username?”

Patron #1: “Yes!”

Me: “And typed in the last four numbers for the PIN?”

Patron #1: “Yes! It’s still not working! Just get me a guest pass!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am but—”

Patron #1: “I know! Just get me your manager!”

I already knew what the problem was because it happens all the time. She was most likely just typing in the number wrong because with some of our cards the numbers can be a little small for some people.

Me: “One minute, ma’am, I can help you. Let me just walk over there with you.”

I walked over with her and took her card. I typed in all the numbers for the username and then the PIN and pressed enter. She was now logged in.

Patron #2: “Wow, you must have the magic touch!”

Patron #1: “What did you do?”

Me: “Typed in the correct numbers.”