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    Oh, Crystal Meth

    | Alabama, USA | Bizarre, Top

    Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

    (I’m checking out another patron’s books. Suddenly, a customer screams and points at me, in the process elbowing another patron out of the way.)

    Library patron: “WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP OFF THE STOVE?!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m helping someone right now….”

    Library patron: “You let it get all FATTY on the top!!!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    (The library patron begins to cry.)

    Me: “Why are you crying?”

    Library patron: “I don’t know, cuz dads are microwaving their kids and sh*t!”

    Me: “…”

    As Opposed To The Ones That You Can, Like, Smoke?

    , | Oregon, USA | Top

    (At a library, completely surrounded by books…)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    College Student: “Where are the books that you can, like, read?”

    Me: ????

    Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read

    | USA |

    Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

    Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”

    Source

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