Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

Me: “Yes, right over here.”

(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

This Thief Is Booked

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, I have an overdue charge on this book. Can I get it removed?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you kept the book past the due date, then I can’t remove the charge.”

Customer: “Then can I just keep the book?”

No Pranks, Just Thanks

| Eugene, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

Boy: “Yeah! Yeah and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

Caretaker: *no response*

Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

Boy: *smiles*

Extremely Dis-concert-ing

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How my I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Yeah, my son said he wanted to check out some CDs. Do you guys have CDs?”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what type of CD he’s looking for?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean is he looking for audio books, computer games, music?”

Caller: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “I’m sorry, let me be more clear. Did he want–”

Caller: “No, I mean I don’t understand what you said before.”

Me: “I was just asking if you knew what type of CD he was looking for. Like audio books, or music, or–”

Caller: “Wait, what’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Caller: “That thing you just said.”

Me: “What, music?”

Caller: “Yeah, what’s that?”

Likely To Cause IRE (Ironic Resourceful Ethics)

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)

Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”

Me: “Sure, here.”

(As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)

Me: “Oh, is this for an Ethics class?”

Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”

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