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    That Helpful Attitude Needs To Be Shelved

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (I am shelving a couple books. I have two books in my hands, each going in different sections.)

    Customer: *pointing* “Oh that book goes over here and that book goes over there.”

    Me: “But–”

    Customer: “The book goes right here.”

    Me: “Yes, I–”

    Customer: *takes book from me* “The book goes in this spot here.”

    Me: “I know.”

    Customer: “I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job. I’m just trying to be helpful!”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Sharing Ones Loss

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers

    (Students are required to show their student ID cards when borrowing a book. Two students walk up to the front desk.)

    Student #1: “Hi, I’d like to borrow this book for my friend here.” *hands me their student ID card*

    Me: “If your friend would like that book, then she needs to bring her own ID card and borrow it herself. I can’t let you borrow it for her in case she causes any damage or loses it.”

    Student #1: “Oh. But she’s very responsible. She wouldn’t damage or lose it.”

    (I turn to the second student.)

    Me: “Where is your student ID card?”

    Student #2: “I lost it.”

    A Real Drinking Problem

    | High Point, NC, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer is about to get on the elevator and go upstairs with a soda.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but soda is not allowed upstairs. We have an area right under the stairs that you can sit and drink it or you will need to take it outside.”

    Customer: “But I just bought it! You mean I can’t take it upstairs even if I’m not going to open it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They just don’t allow it.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to drink it? Well, I never would have bought it if I had known I was going to have to drink it!”

    How To Address The Proof Of Address

    | New Jersey, USA | Books & Reading, Underaged

    Me: “Okay, for a library card I need ID the verifies your address.”

    Patron: *recites address*

    Me: “I need proof that is your address, like your ID or a bill.”

    Patron: *recites address again*

    Me: “I’m sorry. I need proof.”

    (The patron walks away and comes back with another patron.)

    Patron: “Will you please tell this lady where I live to prove it?”

    Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

    Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

    Me: “Yes, right over here.”

    (I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

    Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

    Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

    Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

    (I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

    Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

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