Past The Point Of No Return

, | New Zealand | Top

(We have both a bookshop and library. They are divided by a wall and accessible only from outside the building or through a staff only area. I am working in the bookstore section.)

Customer: “Hey, I was looking for a book for my niece called The Tomorrow Code.”

Me: “We definitely have a copy of that. I was shelving it this morning. Follow me.”

Customer: “So, when is the due date?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You know, for the book.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can sell it to you right now.”

Customer: “Yes, I know that. I want to know when I have to return it. My library card number for you guys is [number].”

Me: “You don’t have to return it, ma’am. This is a bookstore, not a library. You keep the book once you’ve bought it.”

Customer: “That’s great, but when do I return it?”

Me: “I, uh, just need to check that on the system.”

(I run to the actual library to check they have a copy of the tomorrow code. They do. I go back to the customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, just to make this very clear, this is a shop not a library. You never return books.”

Customer: “Of course I know that. Do you think I was born yesterday? Now, when do I have to return this book?”

Me: “Actually, I just found out the copy of the book you’re holding is reserved. I can go get a copy of it from the storeroom if you want.”

Customer: “Just hurry up. This place shouldn’t hire people as thick as you!”

(I run back to the library and issue the book as ‘borrowed’ to her card number.)

Customer: *speaking very slowly* “Thank you, girl. I’m sorry to have told you that you were thick. I should have realised you were special.”

Educational Programs Have Never Been More Needed

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “[Business library], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, so, I want to know about the educational programs you offer.”

Me: “Oh, okay. That’s actually not conducted through the library. I’ll have to find you the phone number for the coordinator.”

(The caller asks a dozen questions about the differences between the programs we offer. I answer the best I can while continuing to tell him I’ll need to have him call a different number. I put him on hold to find the number.)

Me: “Hi, sir. You’re going to have to call this number and speak to the program coordinator.”

Caller: “Fine, okay. What’s the number?”

(I give him the number.)

Caller: “Okay. Transfer me.”

Me: “Actually, I can’t transfer you because they’re in a different building. But if you want to call the number I gave you, they’d be happy to help.”

Caller: “So, you can’t help me?”

Me: “Not with the information you’re looking for.”

Caller: “What are you again?”

Me: “The librarian.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. You need to explain that to me. Can you also tell me about the educational programs you offer?”

Cause Of Bad Education Is Ap(parent)

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

Patron: “Why won’t my library card work?”

Me: “Let me see. Okay, you have $30 in fines on your card. You won’t be able to use it until those fines are paid.”

Patron: “I wanted to get some books for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Until the fines are paid, you can’t use the card.”

Patron, to daughter: “Come on honey, let’s go home. The lady doesn’t want you to learn anything today.”

No One Is Stealing That ID

| KY, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks up to me at the circulation desk.)

Customer: “I need to get on the computer.”

Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your ID?”

Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

Me: *pointing* “Right down that hall, second grey door
on the left.”

Customer: “You don’t mind if I go there to get my ID out, do you?”

Battling For The Answer

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi. Can I help you find something?”

Patron: “Yeah, my son’s doing some project and he needs some books on some sort of revolution.”

Me: “Okay, so he can pick any revolution to do the project on?”

Patron: “No, he’s doing it on The Revolution. Where do I find books on that?”

Me: “Which revolution? American? French? Haitian? Industrial? There were a lot.”

Patron: “I think he said it was the one that had a lot of battles.”

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