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    A Real Drinking Problem

    | High Point, NC, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer is about to get on the elevator and go upstairs with a soda.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but soda is not allowed upstairs. We have an area right under the stairs that you can sit and drink it or you will need to take it outside.”

    Customer: “But I just bought it! You mean I can’t take it upstairs even if I’m not going to open it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They just don’t allow it.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to drink it? Well, I never would have bought it if I had known I was going to have to drink it!”

    How To Address The Proof Of Address

    | New Jersey, USA | Books & Reading, Underaged

    Me: “Okay, for a library card I need ID the verifies your address.”

    Patron: *recites address*

    Me: “I need proof that is your address, like your ID or a bill.”

    Patron: *recites address again*

    Me: “I’m sorry. I need proof.”

    (The patron walks away and comes back with another patron.)

    Patron: “Will you please tell this lady where I live to prove it?”

    Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

    Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

    Me: “Yes, right over here.”

    (I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

    Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

    Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

    Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

    (I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

    Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

    This Thief Is Booked

    | Bloomington, IN, USA |

    Customer: “Hey, I have an overdue charge on this book. Can I get it removed?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but if you kept the book past the due date, then I can’t remove the charge.”

    Customer: “Then can I just keep the book?”

    No Pranks, Just Thanks

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

    Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

    Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

    Boy: “Yeah! Yeah and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

    Caretaker: *no response*

    Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

    Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

    Boy: *smiles*

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