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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

    Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

    Me: “Yes, right over here.”

    (I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

    Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

    Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

    Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

    (I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

    Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

    This Thief Is Booked

    | Bloomington, IN, USA |

    Customer: “Hey, I have an overdue charge on this book. Can I get it removed?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but if you kept the book past the due date, then I can’t remove the charge.”

    Customer: “Then can I just keep the book?”

    No Pranks, Just Thanks

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

    Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

    Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

    Boy: “Yeah! Yeah and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

    Caretaker: *no response*

    Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

    Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

    Boy: *smiles*

    Extremely Dis-concert-ing

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How my I be of assistance?”

    Caller: “Yeah, my son said he wanted to check out some CDs. Do you guys have CDs?”

    Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what type of CD he’s looking for?”

    Caller: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “I mean is he looking for audio books, computer games, music?”

    Caller: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, let me be more clear. Did he want–”

    Caller: “No, I mean I don’t understand what you said before.”

    Me: “I was just asking if you knew what type of CD he was looking for. Like audio books, or music, or–”

    Caller: “Wait, what’s that?”

    Me: “What’s what?”

    Caller: “That thing you just said.”

    Me: “What, music?”

    Caller: “Yeah, what’s that?”

    Likely To Cause IRE (Ironic Resourceful Ethics)

    | New Orleans, LA, USA |

    (I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)

    Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”

    Me: “Sure, here.”

    (As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)

    Me: “Oh, is this for an Ethics class?”

    Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

    Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”


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