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    Breathless Anticipation

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “I want to make a complaint about that young man that works here. He didn’t help me at all and I need to find a certain book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Was the book misplaced? Is that why he couldn’t find it?”

    Customer: “Well, no. He didn’t offer to help me at all. I walked by him three times and sighed loudly, and its his job to know that I need help and to help me out.”

    Me: “Are you complaining because he’s supposed to assume that you need help, even when you didn’t ask him for help?”

    Customer: “It’s the polite thing to do! No one here can find books, they’re all shelved funny and its your job to know that we need help finding them. Make him do his job properly!”

    Cutting Remarks (Comic)

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Old Comics


    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    That Request Will Never Fly

    , | USA | Tourists/Travel

    (We hit a bit of turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ light goes on, and the captain comes on the intercom to tell us all to stay seated and buckled in. Shortly after this, a woman hits her call light. I come on over.)

    Me: *bracing myself on the seat across the row* “Yes, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “Could I have a glass of water, please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us to all stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “But I wouldn’t be getting up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us ALL to stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “Oh! You too?”

    (As I turn to head back to my seat I overhear her talking to the passenger next to her.)

    Passenger: “But I’ve seen them moving around in all sorts of weather…”

    Cutting Remarks

    | Greenville, SC, USA |

    Student: “I need to write a five-paragraph essay for my English class. Can you help me find some books?”

    Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

    Student: “I thought I’d write it about Jesus.”

    Me: “Maybe you could narrow it down? Why don’t you choose a Bible verse that inspires you and write about that?”

    Student: “Thanks! You’re so sweet! If I cut you, you’d bleed syrup.”

    Me: “I…thank you?”

    A Library With A Likely Story

    | USA | Top

    (I find a wallet with the owner’s ID from middle school.)

    Me: *over the all-call speakers* “[Name], please come up to the front desk for your missing wallet. [Name], please come up to the front desk.”

    (An adult comes up to the front desk.)

    Adult: “Hi, I’m [name].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but according to this ID, she’s still in middle school.”

    Adult: “Oh, I’m, um, her sister.”

    Me: “With the same name?”

    Adult: “Yeah, my mom was a little weird. Can I have her wallet now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’d like to see your sister and put this is in her possession.”

    Adult:”What!? What do you think I’m going to do, steal my sister’s money or something? Just give me the d*** wallet!”

    (A girl comes over.)

    Girl: “Hi, I’m [Name].”

    Adult: “Sis! Where were you? It’s been 10 minutes. I tried to give the wallet to you to save time, but this stupid woman thinks I’m not your sister!”

    Girl: “Who are you?”

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