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    A Library With A Likely Story

    | USA | Top

    (I find a wallet with the owner’s ID from middle school.)

    Me: *over the all-call speakers* “[Name], please come up to the front desk for your missing wallet. [Name], please come up to the front desk.”

    (An adult comes up to the front desk.)

    Adult: “Hi, I’m [name].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but according to this ID, she’s still in middle school.”

    Adult: “Oh, I’m, um, her sister.”

    Me: “With the same name?”

    Adult: “Yeah, my mom was a little weird. Can I have her wallet now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’d like to see your sister and put this is in her possession.”

    Adult:”What!? What do you think I’m going to do, steal my sister’s money or something? Just give me the d*** wallet!”

    (A girl comes over.)

    Girl: “Hi, I’m [Name].”

    Adult: “Sis! Where were you? It’s been 10 minutes. I tried to give the wallet to you to save time, but this stupid woman thinks I’m not your sister!”

    Girl: “Who are you?”

    Sharing One’s Loss, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Books & Reading

    Caller: “I saw on my online account that this book I have out is lost.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: “But it’s not lost, it’s right next to me. I can see it!”

    Related:
    Sharing One’s Loss

    Parental Misguidance

    | Birmingham, AL, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (Parents often call to make sure their children are where they are supposed to be or are going to be ready when they come to pick them up.)

    Me: “Computer lab, this is [name].”

    Mother: “Hi, I am looking for my son. I think he’s up there using your computers.”

    Me: “Okay, can you tell me what he looks like?”

    Mother: “Well, he’s got medium skin, he’s kind of heavy, and he looks a little slow.”

    They’re In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

    | New Zealand | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    Me: “Hello, miss, can I help you?”

    Patron: “Yeah, I’ve been searching these shelves for about ten minutes and I can’t find any books on this one guy.”

    Me: “Who are you looking for books on?”

    Patron: “Oh, I think he’s quite famous! Wait, I know his name.”

    Me: “Well, what did he do?”

    Patron: “Something to do with the army…”

    (The patron pauses for a bit before realizing.)

    Patron: “Oh! Darth Vader!”

    Thick Accents, Thicker Heads

    | New Zealand | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

    (A teenage girl enters the library.)

    Me: “Hi, do you need help?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”

    Me: “Okay. Are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I’m here with my mother for the US summer ’cause I live with Dad in Florida.”

    Me: “We can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card. The card will cost two dollars.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”

    Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”

    Customer: “It’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”

    Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”

    Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents  and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”

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