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    Doesn’t Speak (Or Hear) French

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Books & Reading, Language & Words

    (I work in a library which serves mostly English-speaking patrons, but also French-speaking patrons, too. As such, the library uses both a French and English name. I receive a call from a number with an area code that I do not recognize, but is somewhat similar to the library’s area code.)

    Me: “Bibliothèque Publique de [City]. Public Library. How may I help you?”

    Patron: “Yes, I received a notice that my books are late. I would like to renew them.”

    Me: “Certainly. May I have your last name?”

    Patron: “It’s [Last Name].”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I pull up the list of our patrons with the last name in question.)

    Me: “What is your first name, please?”

    Patron: “It’s [First Name].”

    Me: *checking the list* “I’m afraid I can’t find that name on my list. Did you perhaps register your membership under a different first name, or were you using someone else’s card?”

    Patron: *a little annoyed* “No. I used my card, and my name is [Name].”

    (We go back and forth for a moment, before I ask…)

    Me: *hesitant* “Ma’am, are you sure you are calling the right library?”

    Patron: *a little offended by my suggestion* “Well, I am calling the library in [City], [US State]?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. You called [City], Quebec, Canada.”

    Patron: “…”

    (She said goodbye and hung up. I’m not sure how all the French and the different area code failed to clue her in! I’m also curious how much the long distance call cost her!)

    Here To Serve, Not Serviette

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Patron: “Could I get some napkins?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Patron: *sighs* “Napkins! Where are your napkins?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any napkins”.

    Patron: “What?! Why not?”

    Me: “Because we’re a library…”

    (Our library does not sell food or have any reason to offer napkins.)

    Picture Perfect

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in the computer lab. Over the next couple of nights we have a gentleman come in who is completely computer illiterate. I’ve tried to explain the best I can as how to go about searching online for information, or watching videos. On this particular night he seems to understand the computer a little more.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, I need help.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Patron: “This video won’t load! I’ve been staring at it for the last 30 minutes, and nothing has happened!”

    (I take in the problem quickly, and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Sir, you’ve been looking at a picture for the last 30 minutes, not a video.”

    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account, Part 2

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in a large computer lab available for patrons. An older lady walks in and needs some assistance with creating an email account.)

    Me: Ma’am, it seems that this username is being used by someone else. You’ll have to choose another.”

    Patron: “Of course it is; it’s my username.”

    Me: “You already have an account with [email site]?”

    Patron: “Yes. Why can’t I use my own username?”

    Me: “Well if you have an email account, and you forgot your password, I can help you retrieve it.”

    Patron: “No, I’ve tried and it wont give me my password.”

    Me: “… Okay… Well, if you want to create a new account you’ll have to use a different username.”

    Patron: “Why? It’s my username.”

    Me: “It’s already taken. You can only use that username once.”

    Patron: “Why?”

    Me: “Because that’s the way they set it up.”

    Patron: “Well, that’s dumb.”

    Related:
    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account

    Should Keep Better Account Of Her Account

    | SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a library that offers computer services to patrons. We get a lot of people who don’t know anything about computers.)

    Patron: “Can you help me out? The computer won’t let me check my email.”

    Me: “Sure. Let’s see what’s wrong.”

    (We walk over to her computer.)

    Patron: “Now see, I put in my email address and hit enter and it doesn’t sign me in!”

    Me: “Well, first of all, you’re on the Google search engine, not an email site. If you have Gmail, then you click on that little button right there that says ‘Gmail’ and then you can enter your email address and password.”

    Patron: “I don’t have Gmail. I have Yahoo!”

    Me: “So you’re trying to access your Yahoo email through the Google search bar by typing in your email address and hitting enter?”

    Patron: “Yes! It won’t let me on! Fix it!”

    Me: “Okay, one second.” *types in Yahoo mail into the address bar* “There. Now put in your email address and password and it will sign you in. You need to be on the Yahoo mail site to access your yahoo mail.”

    Patron: “Password? I don’t have a password!”

    Related
    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

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