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    Picture Perfect

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in the computer lab. Over the next couple of nights we have a gentleman come in who is completely computer illiterate. I’ve tried to explain the best I can as how to go about searching online for information, or watching videos. On this particular night he seems to understand the computer a little more.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, I need help.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Patron: “This video won’t load! I’ve been staring at it for the last 30 minutes, and nothing has happened!”

    (I take in the problem quickly, and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Sir, you’ve been looking at a picture for the last 30 minutes, not a video.”

    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account, Part 2

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in a large computer lab available for patrons. An older lady walks in and needs some assistance with creating an email account.)

    Me: Ma’am, it seems that this username is being used by someone else. You’ll have to choose another.”

    Patron: “Of course it is; it’s my username.”

    Me: “You already have an account with [email site]?”

    Patron: “Yes. Why can’t I use my own username?”

    Me: “Well if you have an email account, and you forgot your password, I can help you retrieve it.”

    Patron: “No, I’ve tried and it wont give me my password.”

    Me: “… Okay… Well, if you want to create a new account you’ll have to use a different username.”

    Patron: “Why? It’s my username.”

    Me: “It’s already taken. You can only use that username once.”

    Patron: “Why?”

    Me: “Because that’s the way they set it up.”

    Patron: “Well, that’s dumb.”

    Related:
    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account

    Should Keep Better Account Of Her Account

    | SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a library that offers computer services to patrons. We get a lot of people who don’t know anything about computers.)

    Patron: “Can you help me out? The computer won’t let me check my email.”

    Me: “Sure. Let’s see what’s wrong.”

    (We walk over to her computer.)

    Patron: “Now see, I put in my email address and hit enter and it doesn’t sign me in!”

    Me: “Well, first of all, you’re on the Google search engine, not an email site. If you have Gmail, then you click on that little button right there that says ‘Gmail’ and then you can enter your email address and password.”

    Patron: “I don’t have Gmail. I have Yahoo!”

    Me: “So you’re trying to access your Yahoo email through the Google search bar by typing in your email address and hitting enter?”

    Patron: “Yes! It won’t let me on! Fix it!”

    Me: “Okay, one second.” *types in Yahoo mail into the address bar* “There. Now put in your email address and password and it will sign you in. You need to be on the Yahoo mail site to access your yahoo mail.”

    Patron: “Password? I don’t have a password!”

    Related
    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

    Taxing Faxing, Part 12

    | NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a small public library with a self-service fax machine. The machine walks you through sending a fax with an automated verbal prompt. A coworker comes to find me at my desk.)

    Coworker: “Can you lift the fax machine up?”

    Me: “What? Why?”

    Coworker: “She got her card stuck in it.”

    (Our fax machine does not have a credit card reader. Now confused, I approach the patron.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Patron: “My card is stuck in the fax machine.”

    Me: “Can you show me where?”

    (She points to the paper feed.)

    Me: *digging the card from the machine* “How did this happen?”

    Patron: “The voice said, ‘put in the card number,’ so I put the card in the machine.”

    Me: “Miss, it doesn’t scan the card. It scans the pages you want to fax. You have to manually type the card number using the number keys on the pad.”

    (The patron gives me a dumbfounded look.)

    Me: *pointing to the numbers* “The numbers on the front of your credit card are the actual account number. That’s how the machine knows to charge your account.”

    (Same dumbfounded look.)

    Me: *sigh* “Here, let me help you…”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 11
    Taxing Faxing, Part 10
    Taxing Faxing, Part 9
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    Not Getting Closer To The Solution

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The library does faxes for patrons.)

    Librarian: “Okay, what’s the number, sir?”

    Patron: “One. Eight.. Oh-oh. Five… Five. … Five… Two… Two.”

    Librarian: “I’m sorry, sir, we seem to be missing a digit.”

    Patron: “That’s okay. Just write them all together. Closer together, baby.”

    Librarian: *staring at sheet of paper* “Write them.closer together?”

    Patron: “Uh-huh, like she told me to. 1800552. No spaces or nothin’.”

    Librarian: “They’ll all be together when I dial out—”

    Patron: “Just try it that way!”

    (The librarian, baffled, copies the number on his pad without any spaces at all.)

    Patron: “Exactly! It should work now.”

    (It didn’t.)


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