Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5

| Central Florida, USA | Geography

(This is during the 2008 primaries. Our library has been set up as an early voting center. We have information sheets to help the voters make their choices.)

Customer: “I just don’t know what I should do. These things are so confusing. Who did you vote for?”

Me: “I didn’t vote.”

Customer: “That’s what’s wrong with you young people today. No ethics.”

Me: “You misunderstand. I didn’t vote because I can’t vote.”

Customer: *shocked* “Oh MY GOD! You’re a FELON? Why would they let a FELON work here?”

Me: “No, ma’am. No. I’m not a citizen.”

Customer: “Oh. You’re just saying that aren’t you?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not a citizen. Would you like to see my green card?”

Customer: “So, you’re from Canada?”

Me: “No, I’m from Europe.”

Customer: “That’s in Canada, isn’t it?”

Related:
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

Silence Is Golden

| USA | Uncategorized

Customer: *in writing* “Where are the encyclopedias?”

Me: *slowly, making sure he can lip read me* “One floor up–”

(The customer gestures me to write. I assume he can’t lip read. He goes on his way after I write the instructions. Suddenly there’s a crash and he looks towards the sound.)

Me: “I thought you couldn’t hear!”

Customer: *in writing* “Stop talking, this is a library!”

Ralph Waldo Emerson Would Be Proud

| Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre

Patron: “Do you have any books about division?”

Me: “Sure, we have lots of books about arithmetic. One of them is bound to have what you’re looking for.”

Patron: “Good. The radio frequencies around my house interfere with my calculator, so I have to learn math again.”

Me: “Let me just show you those books.”

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4

| Wisconsin, USA | Top

Customer: “I want books on gynecology.”

Me: “Okay. This way, please…”

(I start to take her to the health section.)

Customer: “Yeah, I really want to learn about my ancestors.”

Me: *quickly change course to the genealogy section*

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

Reading Is Infectious

| Melbourne, Australia | Health & Body, Top

(A customer is returning a large pile of overdue books – about 90 for the entire family. She’s waiting while I process them in order to pay the fine.)

Me: “Well, they’re not very overdue. It’s just that there’s a lot of them.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry they’re late.”

(I scan the last few books.)

Me: “Okay, over the three cards, there’s $50 in fines, but I’ll halve that to $25 as they’re not too late.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks so much. I just couldn’t get them in as we’ve all had scarlet fever.”

(I look at the pile of books, every one of which I have handled.)

Me: “Oh…”

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