Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,790 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    In Through The Out Door

    | Bedford, NS, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (A woman and her son have just entered the library. They walk straight to me while I am sitting at the circulation desk. There
    is only one entrance to the library. All other doors leading outside are clearly and brightly marked fire exits.)

    Patron: “How do I come in?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Patron: “How do I come in here?”

    Me: “Through the door?”

    Patron: “Which one?”

    Me: “The one you just walked through.”

    Patron: “Oh okay, so I just do that again?”

    Me: “Yes…that should work perfectly.”

    Patron: “Thanks!” *walks away*

    Two Points Make A Line, But Three People Don’t

    | Helsingborg, Sweden |

    (I’m at the front desk and there’s a line of three people. A middle-aged school teacher walks up to the counter.)

    Patron: “I have a question.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to get back in the line and wait your turn.”

    Patron: *looks at the line* “Young man, I would hardly call that a line.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Patron: “Three people don’t make a line. You really should be more clear about your line policies.”

    Me: “Line policies?”

    Patron: “Three people isn’t enough to call it a line!”

    Me: “You would have to ask the people standing in line about that.”

    It Must Have Been A New Moon, Part 2

    | Bainbridge Island, WA, USA |

    (I am a patron at the library on my day off to meet up with a friend. Another patron wearing a ‘Team Edward’ shirt approaches my coworker, who is fixing the name tag on her ‘Save the Wolves’ t-shirt that she’s wearing for the library’s animal week.)

    Patron: “You should be ashamed of yourself! You are supporting those hairy monsters!”

    Librarian: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s the problem?”

    Patron: “You shouldn’t be supporting the werewolves! Bella loves Edward, not some hairy dog!”

    Librarian: “No, this shirt is supporting the local wolf refuge. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

    (The patron starts screaming obscenities and raving, which is beginning to disturb other patrons. I decide to intervene at this point since I’m still waiting for my friend. Note that I am a well built girl that stands at about 5′ 9″ and am wearing my animal eye contacts for the party.)

    Me: “Pardon me ma’am, but what seems to be the problem here?”

    (The patron turns around, looks up at me, and goes white.)

    Patron: “Y-you’re one of them aren’t you?”

    Me: “Please leave my friend here alone and go about your business.”

    Patron: *runs out the door yelling* “See if I come back here with you employing her kind!”

    Related:
    It Must Have Been A New Moon

    For The FBI, The M.O. On This PDF Is TBD

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology

    Customer: “My pedophile won’t print.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I sent my pedophile to print but it won’t come out the printer.”

    Me: “Oh, you mean PDF file? As in Adobe PDF?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that.”

    Doesn’t See The Point Of No Return

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA |

    (The library has a return window which patrons can drive up to in order to return or check out materials. The patron in question has just placed their video in the return drawer.)

    Me: “Thank you, please have a nice day.”

    Patron: “Hey, what would happen if I put a hamburger in there?”

    Me: “We would prefer you didn’t, sir.”


    Page 16/31First...1415161718...Last