Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,387 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Not A Shred Of Intelligence

    , | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

    Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

    Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

    (My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

    Me: “What happened?!”

    Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

    That’s (Not) One Smart Cookie

    , | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Technology, Top

    (I work at a university library and we sometimes get calls about our online databases not working. 90% of the time, it’s due to cookies not being enabled.)

    Me: “[Library], this is [name], how can I help you?”

    Patron: “Yeah, hi, I can’t get [database] to work.”

    Me: “All right, do you know if you have cookies enabled?”

    Patron: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, open the internet and click on—”

    (I proceed to walk her through enabling cookies. After each step, I wait for the confirming “okay” from her.)

    Me: “…and that’s it! Does the page work now?”

    Patron: “No.”

    Me: “Did you enable the cookies?”

    Patron: “No, but I did close the internet! It should work when I open it again, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. We need to apply a setting.”

    (I proceed to explain the process a second time, this time asking if she completed the step after each one.)

    Me: “Okay, try to open the page again. Does it work?”

    Patron: “No.”

    Me: “Did you allow the cookies?”

    Patron: “No. I closed everything.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, please click—”

    Patron: “This is frustrating! It should work if I restart the internet. I need [database] for class. Why won’t it work?”

    Me: “As I’ve already said, you need to enable cookies.”

    (We go through this process a third time.)

    Patron: “I can’t do this. I need to speak to someone else. I don’t want to talk to you anymore!”

    Me: “All right, ma’am, the librarian is right here. I hope she can help. Have a nice day.”

    (I happily give the phone over to my boss, who at this point is giving me the “I will kill you for making me talk to this person” glare.)

    They Don’t Call It Pain-em For Nothing

    | New York, NY, USA | Language & Words

    (I work as a volunteer at our small public library, usually at the front desk, helping patrons and checking out their books.)

    Woman: *approaching desk* “Do you have…Hunger Pains?”

    Me: “Sorry, what?”

    Woman: “I think it’s called Hunger…Pains?

    Me: “Oh, The Hunger Games? It’s very popular right now.”

    Woman: “Oh, right. My son told me the name. I knew I was going to get it wrong!”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 6

    | Pennsylvania, PA, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (A woman comes up and gives me $2 for her daughter to print. With our computers, you need to have money in your account in order to print. The daughter prints something, then tries to print again. The mother comes up twice, complaining that nothing is coming out and that something is wrong.)

    Me: “How much is it saying it will cost?”

    Patron: “We have enough.”

    Me: “Okay, then it should print.”

    Patron: “It’s saying it’s printing, but nothing is coming out.”

    (I go over and try to print it. They don’t have enough.)

    Me: “You need to put more money on the card.”

    Patron: “Why?!”

    Me: “The prints costs more than you have on there.”

    Patron: “But she only printed once.”

    Me: “This new print costs $1.50. She already spent at least $0.70, from what I can see. You only gave me $2.”

    Patron: “So?”

    Me: “So $2 minus $0.70 is less than $1.50.”

    Patron: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You need to give me more money for the prints.”

    Patron: “But why?!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Books

    | Texas, USA |

    Patron: “Do you have any magazines with pictures in them?”

    Me: “All of our magazines are against the back wall.”

    Patron: “No, the magazines that have the pictures and you have to figure out what it is.”

    Me: “Well, you can look on the back wall and see if—”

    Patron: “Just tell me where the books are, then.”

    (I point to the books, which take up the whole right side of the building.)

    Me: “The books are all in that side of the building.”

    Patron: “Well, just tell me where the books with pictures are.”

    Me: “Many books have pictures. You’re going to need a title.”

    Patron: “Never mind!” *walks away*

    Page 13/31First...1112131415...Last