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    This Is What You Regularly Face

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre

    (A sweet little old lady approaches my information desk.)

    Customer: “Hello, love. I am looking for the rates for housing benefit.”

    Me: “Certainly. Could I take your postcode?”

    Customer: “It’s [postcode].”

    Me: “Okay, that’s great. According to the government website, your benefit rate is [amount].”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s gone up. Are you sure?”

    Me: “It here says that the benefit increased this year.”

    Customer: “Right. Well, could I get your name, please, dear?”

    Me: “Certainly, it’s [My Name].”

    Customer: “And do you work everyday?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m part-time so I am only here Monday and Fridays.”

    Customer: “Good. So if I find out that this information is wrong, I know when to come in and smash your face in.”

    (The lady gathered her things and left. I am still in shock.)

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 10

    , | Rexburg, ID, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I’m the supervisor at a university library closing on a Friday night, when we close earlier. We have an irate student come to the desk five minutes before we close.)

    Coworker: “How can I help you?”

    Student: “I didn’t know you guys closed early on Fridays. I need you to stay open for me!”

    Coworker: “Our hours are posted, and we don’t have the power to keep the library open.”

    Student: “You don’t know anything! I want to speak to your supervisor!”

    (I step in at this point.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Student: “I just started a test! I need you guys to stay open for another hour!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have the power to keep the library open past hours.”

    Student: “You just don’t know you can do something! Well, I’m going to stay, whether open or closed!”

    (The student stormed off, and security escorted him out at closing.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7

    Should Have Eaten Fear For Breakfast

    | Portsmouth, VA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (An older male patron has started insisting that I (a young female) offer to buy him lunch earlier in the week. Every following day he would whisper a reminder in the form of a food order as he passed the reference desk.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir”

    Patron: “Chicken salad… Chicken Salad.”

    Me: *nods head, a little creeped out*

    (A patron walks past a few hours later to leave.)

    Patron: *intensely whispers* “Two hotdogs from Dairy Queen.”

    (They say nothing else. Later, I turn to my coworker:)

    Me: “Why is it always me?”

    Coworker: “They smell the fear… or your lunch.”

    Those Kids And Their Googles

    | NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

    (The phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, circulation desk; how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me what temperature I need to cook this turkey at?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you realize this is a library, correct?”

    Caller: “Yes, but can’t you use that Google thing the kids are talking about?”

    The Machines Are Already More Intelligent Than Us

    , | Paris, France | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I work at a library’s copy store, a fairly large room within the main branch of the library. At the entrance of our store there are three huge copy-card dispensers – about the size of a cupboard – with a different slot for each way to pay: coins, banknotes, and credit cards. On every wall of our store, several A3-sized posters inform customers that they have buy cards to do their copies.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I paid and I didn’t get my card.”

    Colleague: “Did you pay with credit card, bill, or coins?”

    Customer: “Bill.”

    (My colleague goes to the card dispenser with the customer.)

    Colleague: “I’m truly sorry, sir, but it seems I can’t find your bill.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s because I didn’t put it there.”

    (Then he pointed at the coin slot. And indeed, there was a tiny piece of paper sticking out of it: the corner of his banknote, folded in four…)

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