Caller: “Why did you send me a contract?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Caller: “You sent me a lawn contract. For my lawn.”
Me: “Yes, sir?”
Caller: “Why?”
Me: “We send a prospective contract to anyone whose info we have in our system.”
Caller: “I didn’t ask for it.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but—”
Caller: “Why did you send this to me?”
Me: “Well, as I said—”
Caller: “How do you know how much grass I have?”
Me: “You see we keep—”
Caller: “Why did you send this to me?! I didn’t ask for this!”
Me: “Um, actually, looking at your info, sir, we did your yard two years ago.”
Caller: *silent*
Me: “Mr. [Name]?”
Caller: “Tell me more about this ‘Deluxe Program’ you have here…”
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981 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m attempting to let a customer know via telephone that we want to treat their yard the next day.)
Me: “Hi this is—”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Hi, this is—”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Th—”
Customer: “What?”
Me: *quickly* “This is [lawn care company] calling.”
Customer: “Oh, yes.”
Me: “We’d like to put down an application tomorrow.”
Customer: “Does it need to be mowed first?”
Me: “No, it d—”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “No, it d—”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “N—”
Customer: “You’re cutting out.”
Me: “I—”
Customer: “WHY DO YOU KEEP CUTTING OUT?!”
Me: “Because you keep talking over me.”
Customer: “I do what?”
Me: “You keep t—”
Customer: “I do no such thing!”
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1,699 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer is paying by credit card over the telephone.)
Me: “And the expiration date of the card?”
Customer: “3 of 11.”
Me: “So, it’s expired then?”
Customer: “Why, is that a problem?”
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1,168 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a landscaper paying a visit to a customer; he had called in complaining about a 5-foot sapling I had planted that was now dying.)
Me: “What’s up with the tree?”
Customer: “It died, see? Lemme show you!”
(I follow the customer back to his lawn and notice that the sapling we planted a couple weeks ago was now apparently two feet tall and very dead.)
Me: “Sir, what happened to this?”
Customer: “It was going to get too tall so I decided to bury it deeper.”
Me: “You buried it deeper?”
Customer: “I dug it out, dug a deeper hole until it was the right height and then buried it again. Now it’s dead!”
Me: “Sir, you do know you weren’t supposed to do that, right? If you wanted a smaller tree, you should have gotten a shrub.”
Customer: “But I want a small plum tree!”
Related:
Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole
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2,023 Thumbs Up!)
Lawn Care Customer: “Can you fertilize me next week?”
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3,597 Thumbs Up!)
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