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    Will Try To Tag Themselves In Jail

    | TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top, Transportation

    (I stop a young, 20-something woman for using her cell while driving in an active school zone.)

    Me: “I stopped you, ma’am, for using your phone while driving in a school zone, which is against the law.”

    Driver: “I am not calling anyone or texting, so I am not using my phone. I was updating my Facebook status!”

    (After citing her, we both pull away from the curb. I then witness her using her cell AGAIN, so I stop her once more.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have already explained and cited you for the very same reason I am pulling you over the second time. I do not want to have to arrest you, so please do not use your phone while driving again.”

    Driver: “One more time, officer, I am NOT calling or texting! I am uploading a picture of my citation to Pinterest!”

    Thoughts Suspended

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am in a reserve officer training class at a sheriff’s academy. Enrollment in this class is done through a community college, not the Sheriff’s department. When it is time to do the firearms instruction, you have two choices: you can use your own firearm if it was one of the authorized service pistols, or you can borrow one from the academy. If you borrow one, you need a driver’s license for proof of identity in case something happens to the firearm.)

    Student: “Well, I don’t have my license.”

    Deputy #1: “Then we can’t loan you the pistol.”

    Student: “But I need to do this range stuff to graduate, right?”

    Deputy #1: “Yes. That is why we tell people to bring their license if they need to borrow a firearm. We cannot lend you one without it.”

    Student: “I can’t bring one in. I don’t have a license right now.”

    Deputy #2: “What? I saw you drive up here. What do you mean you don’t have a license now?”

    Student: “Well, it was suspended.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Did you just tell us you are driving on a suspended license?”

    Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”

    (Deputy #1 and #2 share a look.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “So which car is yours?”

    (The student points it out.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “And you drove that here on a suspended license?”

    Student: “Yeah. Like I said, it sucks.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Okay, well, let me see what I can do.”

    (The deputy sergeant goes to the office, and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “When you found out that your license was suspended, did they also inform you that it was for a failure to appear on your drunk driving case and that there was a warrant for your arrest?”

    Student: “Uh, let me think… Yeah. There was something like that in the letter.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Well, that warrant is why you are under arrest.”

    Student: “What!?”

    (The rest of the class was amazed at the idiocy that this guy displayed. His mom came by later to get the car. She was not pleased with her son, and she had no idea he even had a drunk driving incident!)