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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Sounds Like Hell’s Kitchen

    | New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I receive a call from an irate customer demanding a manager. I page one over.)

    Manager: “Yes, ma’am… Dear me! I am truly sorry to hear that ma’am. When did this take place?… And do you remember who it was who helped you?… Well, do you remember anything about them physically?”

    (He pulls out his notepad, and jots down the following: BLONDE, MALE, OVER SIX FEET TALL, PALE SKIN, GREEN EYES, MOLE ON CHEEK, DIRTY SUIT. By the end, he’s looking at the list in disbelief.)

    Manager: “Um… ma’am, are you sure this happened at [kitchen store]?… No of course not! But you see, there’s no one working here who fits the description you’ve given me… Well for starters, we don’t have any blonde males working here… Okay, well did they have black or brown hair then?… Well, again ma’am, do you remember anything definite?… Ma’am, I’m sorry for the trauma you suffered, but there are currently 30 employees working here… I need something more than… What?… No, ma’am, I will not brutally interrogate each and every one of them to find out if maybe one of them helped you pick out a knife! If you can remember anything definite about who it was you encountered here, I will do all I can to help… excuse me?… Ma’am, if you don’t stop with the racial slurs, I’m going to terminate this call… Very well, then this is officially a legal matter and I can no longer talk to you. Have a nice day!”

    (He hangs up, and takes an enormous breath.)

    Manager: “Okay, well this is going to make for an interesting week.”

    (He takes his notes, and heads into his office.)