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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Skating Around The Cheapness

    | Australia | Money

    (We have a big sale going on and I’m helping a customer choose some cufflinks for her fiancé. We have about 30 on show and about a third are half price.)

    Customer: “Oh, those ones are nice but they’re not reduced. Can’t you do anything about the price?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not. Since we have heaps of items on sale we can’t reduce anything not part of the sale.”

    Customer: “Aw, really? Can’t you ask the manager?”

    Me: “…I am the manager.”

    Customer: “Oh, haha.”

    (She ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ for several minutes talking with her friend about which would look better but then finally settles on a set on sale for $12. We go to the till to ring her up.)

    Customer: “Oh, don’t you have any chains that are 18ct?”

    Me: “No, sorry. They’re all 9ct because no one wants to pay the price for 18ct chains.”

    Customer: “Oh, haha. What a bunch of cheapskates.”

    Me: *internally dying at the irony*

    Most People At The Checkout Have Already Checked Out

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

    (A very friendly couple come up to my jewelry counter and pick out an anniversary piece for the wife. As I’m preparing her necklace, they pass the time by looking through one of the other nearby jewelry cases.)

    Wife: *to husband* “What do you think about that pearl necklace, honey?”

    Husband: “I don’t know; I wouldn’t be the one wearing it. You said I’m not allowed to wear your pearls anymore.”

    Wife: “No, I said you’re not allowed to wear my underwear anymore.”

    Husband: *to me* “Never a dull moment in our house.”

    Wife: *to me* “We’re just joking, of course.”

    Me: “You’d be surprised how many kinds of people come through here, ma’am…”

    Fat Chance Of A Haunting

    | UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work for a small family run jewelry store. We are fairly flexible with returns as long as no work was done on the item (i.e., sizing to finger, switching stones, etc). )

    Customer: “I would like to return this ring I purchased.”

    Me: “Let me look up your history. Your name?”

    Customer: *gives name* “I can’t keep this ring.”

    Me: “Okay. Unfortunately it was sized, so is non returnable. Is there anything wrong with the fit?”

    Customer: “No, nothing wrong with the fit. I think it’s haunted.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I think it’s carrying a curse or is haunted. When I bought it, it was a larger size and my finger is much smaller. The person who owned it before must have died of heart disease and I might catch it.”

    Me: “I can assure you, you won’t get heart disease from this ring.”

    (She kept going on about how she couldn’t have that ring because it might cause her to gain weight like the previous owner. I reassured her over and over that rings can’t make you gain weight. To no avail we ended up taking the ring back and selling her a new ring with no fat history.)

    Needs To Get That Chip Off Their Shoulder

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work in a jewelry store in Canada. In Canada, chip-enabled credit cards are the norm, since they provide extra security against fraud, and the cashier doesn’t have to check ID or take a signature. However, my company’s policy is to ALWAYS check customer ID with credit cards, even if they have a chip – no matter how small the purchase is.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the bracelet. Thank you.”

    Me: “Fantastic! How would you like to pay today?”

    Customer: “Visa, please.”

    Me: “No problem, but could I just see a piece of photo ID with the credit card, please?”

    Customer: “But it has a chip. You don’t need ID with a chip card. That’s the whole point of the chip.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, it’s just our company policy in order to protect you and other customers when paying with credit. If you’d prefer to pay with a debit card or cash, I won’t need to see any ID at all.”

    Customer: “This has never happened to me before! The whole point of a CHIP is so that I don’t need ID!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir! If you’d like to run home and grab a debit card or cash, I’d be happy to hold your bracelet for you.”

    Customer: “That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. How ridiculous. Could you get your manager?”

    Me: “Of course, I’d be happy to.”

    (As I move to fetch my manager, the customer grins and throws down two pieces of valid government issued photo ID that match his card.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was just teasing you. It’s true I’ve never had this happen to me before, but it’s a really good policy! Good for you for not backing down!”

    (I am utterly speechless, but we finish the transaction pleasantly enough)

    Customer: “I feel terrible for bugging you like that, but you can tell your manager you’re a star!”

    A Bark As Bad As The Bite

    | France | Bad Behavior, Top

    (It’s a very busy week in our shop. My colleague and I are running to keep up. A customer enters the shop, and we both salute him politely. The customer mumbles something and snaps his fingers at my colleague. She manages to smile at him as she answers:)

    Colleague: “I will be with your shortly, sir. Just a minute, please!”

    (The customer huffs again and turns to me. This time, he doesn’t just snap his fingers, he whistles as you would call a dog before pointing at the ground in front of him. My answer? I bark at him before smiling sweetly.)

    Me: “Sir, if you treat us like dogs, be ready to be answered by b****es. Please leave.”

    (All the other customers applauded when he left!)

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