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    A One-Sided Argument

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Hello, thank for you calling [company]; how can I hep—”

    Customer: “YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME!”

    Me: “I’m sorr—”

    Customer: “MY ACCOUNT STATEMENTS ARE ONLY ONE SIDED! MY FRIEND GETS DOUBLE SIDED STATEMENTS! THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!”

    And Miles To Go Before I Seek New Employment

    | San Francisco, CA, USA |

    Agent: “I sent in the paperwork over a week ago. Why hasn’t this been processed?”

    Me: *looking up record* “I don’t see that we’ve received it. What address did you send it to?”

    (The agent gives an address in Los Angeles of a company with a similar name we are not affiliated with.)

    Me: “Our office is located in San Francisco. We’re not actually affiliated with the company in L.A.”

    Agent: “Well, what do we do now?”

    Me: “It’s possible that they’ll forward it to our address which is printed on the paperwork, but the fastest way would be for you to submit a new form.”

    Agent: “Can’t you just drive over there and get it?”

    Me: “Well, no sir. It’s in L.A. and we’re in San Francisco.”

    Agent: “So?”

    Me: “It’s at the opposite end of the state.”

    Agent: “You can’t just go get it?”

    Me: “San Francisco is not near L.A.”

    Agent: *angrily* “Well, how far is it?”

    Me: “About 400 miles.”

    Agent: “…”

    Me: “It would take about 9 hours in each direction.”

    Agent: “You aren’t being very helpful.”