Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,621 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole

    , | Huntsville, AL, USA |

    Woman on phone: “You guys need to take that at-fault accident off my record.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t do that. You’ll have to dispute that with the DMV.”

    Woman: “What’s that?”

    Me: “The Department of Motor Vehicles.”

    Woman: “Why can’t you take it off? You were the one put it on there.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I didn’t put anything on your record. The DMV did. What happened in that accident?”

    Woman: “I bumped into someone.”

    Me: “So you rear-ended someone? What were you doing?”

    Woman: “Drinking a beer.”

    Me: “Drinking a beer? While driving? Ma’am, if you rear-ended someone and had an open container of alcohol in your car it would be two violations, possibly three.”

    Woman: “See? There you go again, puttin’ stuff on my record.”

    Me: “Right.”

    Hippocrates Is Rolling Over In His Grave

    , | Southern Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?”

    Doctor: “I need to verify my patient’s coverage. Her number is *****.”

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a problem and I can’t access that account. I will have to forward this issue over to our technical department and they will get back to you as soon as possible.”

    Doctor: “I need this information immediately. Can I talk to them now? It’s very important.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, they are very backed up over there and everything is handled in the order it is received. You will be added to the queue and they will get back to you later today.”

    Doctor: “What if she was DYING and I needed her coverage information? What then?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, if the patient was dying there in your office, I would hope you would treat her regardless of her insurance coverage.”

    Doctor: “Well, yes–I mean–just make sure they call me today.” *click*

    If Exes Ruled The World

    , | Costa Mesa, CA, USA |

    Customer: “I want to cancel my ex-husband’s policy.”

    Me: “Are you on the policy with him?”

    Customer: “No, but his new girlfriend is. That’s why I’d like it canceled.”

    Me: “You can’t cancel a policy that isn’t yours.”

    Customer: “Why not?! It used to be my policy!”

    Me: “Well, because you no longer have authorization to make such a change.”

    Customer: “Well, he didn’t have authorization to bring that ***** into my house, but he did it anyways. I’m pretty sure you can cancel his policy.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure you need to see a therapist. Thanks for calling.”


    Page 9/9First...56789