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    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “I’d like to get full coverage insurance on this vehicle.”

    Me: “Well, your car is over 15 years old, so I don’t think that will be possible. We simply don’t have a company willing to write it.”

    Customer: “But, what am I supposed to do if I want full coverage?”

    Me: “I guess get a newer car?”

    Customer: “If I wreck that car I’m screwed! I’m not that good of a driver to start with!”

    Related:
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance

    Why Bikers Never Go By The Book

    | Spartanburg, SC, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to get a quote on some motorcycle insurance?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We are currently only writing personal auto. We are in the process of changing companies and should be able to write it soon.”

    Customer: “Wait, what?”

    Me: “We are only able to write personal auto insurance to insure a vehicle, not motorcycles.”

    Customer: “Well, it says very clearly in the phone book that you guys do motorcycle insurance.”

    Me: “We used to but at the current moment we don’t. We will be able to do so soon.”

    Customer: “Well, why don’t you guys take it out of the phone book then?”

    Me: “You mean, why don’t we take it out of last year’s phone book?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah!” *hangs up*

    Not Exactly Driving Home His Point

    | Syracuse, NY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. May I have your name please?”

    Customer: “My bill is too high. I don’t understand why I owe you so much money. I took a bunch of stuff off my policy to lower my bill.”

    Me: “Well I’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Give me just one moment to review your policy.”

    (I place him on hold for a minute and see that the 19 year old kid has received two speeding tickets in less than three months.)

    Me: “I see the reason for the increase is that you received two speeding tickets the second half of last year that is impacting your premium.”

    Customer: “Fine! Then I request cancellation!”

    Me: “Ok. I’ll need to get you in touch with your local agent so that they can assist you with replacing the policy. Let me give you the number in case I lose you in the transfer.”

    Customer: “Well give me a minute. You are going to have to talk slowly. I’m driving down the road and need to write this down.”

    Booze Is Blamed When There Is No Proof

    | Australia |

    Caller: “Why has my insurance been canceled?”

    Me: “Well, it looks like you have made 6 car claims in the last 4 months.”

    Caller: “Yeah, I had some accidents.”

    Me: “That is why we can no longer insure you. It’s written in our policy statements.”

    Caller: “Bull! None of those accidents were my fault!”

    Me: “It says here, that you drove the vehicle into a tree twiceand the oth–”

    Caller: “Like I said, it wasn’t MY fault! It was the alcohol’s fault!”

    No Ifs, Ends, Or Butts

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I need to know if my insurance covers a butt indent.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…could you say that again?”

    Customer: “I need to know if my car insurance covers a butt indent. There’s one on the hood of my car. What is that covered under and how much is my deductible?”

    Me: “Um…do you know how it got there?”

    Customer: “No. It looks like a small butt, though.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t tell you what it would be covered under until I know how it got there. Do you know if it was the result of a collision or not?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You have two different deductibles for your comprehensive coverage and your collision coverage. Do you know how the…butt ended up there? ”

    Customer: “No, but it’s a small butt on the hood of my car!”

    Me: “Well, your comprehensive deductible is $250 and your collision is $500. Would you like me to submit a claim and let the claim adjuster handle it from here?”

    Customer: “Oh no! I don’t want to make a claim. I was just wondering if it would be covered if I wanted to file one. Thanks!” *hangs up*


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