Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

| Doylestown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Do I still have insurance? Or am I cancelled?”

Me: “It looks like the policy cancelled last month due to non-payment.”

Customer: “Oh, no. Well, can I make a payment now?”

(I take payment for the customer.)

Customer: “Okay. I am going to hand you over to this police officer to verify that I now have insurance.”

(I speak with the officer and assure her the customer has made the payment and is now insured. The customer gets back on the phone.)

Customer: “So, I see all of this stuff on ‘safe driving discounts’ on TV. Do I qualify for that?”

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2
Pre(Car)ious Insurance

The Use Of Regular Is Most Irregular

| Denton, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, if you could just sign your name on the line, and then write it regular on the line below…”

Customer: *signs his name and below it writes ‘regular’*

Brokers With Chokers

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

(We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

, | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [insurance company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to 15 minutes. Do you have the time?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

Related:
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

Their Policy’s Days Are Numbered

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “I have a question about my policy.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Do you have your policy number?”

(There’s a long pause. I can hear the ruffle of papers.)

Caller: *shouting* “God d*** it!”

Me: “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

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