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    Hawai’i Spell That

    | San Diego, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like to add my son to my policy.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s his full name as it appears on his license?”

    Customer: “Johnathan James Kai’hoalaloai’u Johnson.”

    Me: “Can I have you spell the middle name for me?”

    Customer: “Which one? He has two middle names.”

    Me: “Not James.”

    Customer: “K-a-i-h-o, um, a-l, wait. What did I say so far?”

    Ah, Mothers, Part 5

    | California, USA | Family & Kids

    Me: “Your vehicle is a total loss.”

    Customer: “My vehicle is in great condition!”

    Me: “It’s 14 years old and it costs more to repair your vehicle than it’s worth.”

    Customer: “Well, my son is 14 years old and he’s not falling apart!”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “I’d like to get full coverage insurance on this vehicle.”

    Me: “Well, your car is over 15 years old, so I don’t think that will be possible. We simply don’t have a company willing to write it.”

    Customer: “But, what am I supposed to do if I want full coverage?”

    Me: “I guess get a newer car?”

    Customer: “If I wreck that car I’m screwed! I’m not that good of a driver to start with!”

    Related:
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance

    Why Bikers Never Go By The Book

    | Spartanburg, SC, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to get a quote on some motorcycle insurance?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We are currently only writing personal auto. We are in the process of changing companies and should be able to write it soon.”

    Customer: “Wait, what?”

    Me: “We are only able to write personal auto insurance to insure a vehicle, not motorcycles.”

    Customer: “Well, it says very clearly in the phone book that you guys do motorcycle insurance.”

    Me: “We used to but at the current moment we don’t. We will be able to do so soon.”

    Customer: “Well, why don’t you guys take it out of the phone book then?”

    Me: “You mean, why don’t we take it out of last year’s phone book?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah!” *hangs up*

    Not Exactly Driving Home His Point

    | Syracuse, NY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. May I have your name please?”

    Customer: “My bill is too high. I don’t understand why I owe you so much money. I took a bunch of stuff off my policy to lower my bill.”

    Me: “Well I’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Give me just one moment to review your policy.”

    (I place him on hold for a minute and see that the 19 year old kid has received two speeding tickets in less than three months.)

    Me: “I see the reason for the increase is that you received two speeding tickets the second half of last year that is impacting your premium.”

    Customer: “Fine! Then I request cancellation!”

    Me: “Ok. I’ll need to get you in touch with your local agent so that they can assist you with replacing the policy. Let me give you the number in case I lose you in the transfer.”

    Customer: “Well give me a minute. You are going to have to talk slowly. I’m driving down the road and need to write this down.”

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