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  • Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

    | Doylestown, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do I still have insurance? Or am I cancelled?”

    Me: “It looks like the policy cancelled last month due to non-payment.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. Well, can I make a payment now?”

    (I take payment for the customer.)

    Customer: “Okay. I am going to hand you over to this police officer to verify that I now have insurance.”

    (I speak with the officer and assure her the customer has made the payment and is now insured. The customer gets back on the phone.)

    Customer: “So, I see all of this stuff on ‘safe driving discounts’ on TV. Do I qualify for that?”

    Related:
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance

    The Use Of Regular Is Most Irregular

    | Denton, TX, USA |

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, if you could just sign your name on the line, and then write it regular on the line below…”

    Customer: *signs his name and below it writes ‘regular’*

    Brokers With Chokers

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA |

    (We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

    Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

    Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

    , | Glasgow, Scotland, UK |

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to [insurance company]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

    Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to 15 minutes. Do you have the time?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

    Related:
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

    Their Policy’s Days Are Numbered

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

    Caller: “I have a question about my policy.”

    Me: “I can help you with that. Do you have your policy number?”

    (There’s a long pause. I can hear the ruffle of papers.)

    Caller: *shouting* “God d*** it!”

    Me: “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

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