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  • In Case Of Emergency, Use Brain

    , | Hanover, Germany | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working in the insurance field service. One of many things I have to deal with is containing damages on the telephone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My house is burning!”

    Me: *confused* “Your house is burning?”

    Customer: “My house is burning! What should I do?”

    Me: “Have you called the fire department?”

    Customer: “No, I thought the insurance wanted to see the damage before–” *disconnects*

    Zombies Need Life Insurance Too

    | VA, USA | Uncategorized, Zombies

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find out about getting life insurance for my sister.”

    Me: “Okay, I can connect you with an agent.”

    Customer: “Wait, I have a question.”

    Me: “No problem, what is your question?”

    Customer: “Well, my sister died two days ago. Is that going to make it more expensive?”

    Related:
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    Zombies Need Retail Assistance Too
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    Zombies Need Healthcare Too
    Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

    | Doylestown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do I still have insurance? Or am I cancelled?”

    Me: “It looks like the policy cancelled last month due to non-payment.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. Well, can I make a payment now?”

    (I take payment for the customer.)

    Customer: “Okay. I am going to hand you over to this police officer to verify that I now have insurance.”

    (I speak with the officer and assure her the customer has made the payment and is now insured. The customer gets back on the phone.)

    Customer: “So, I see all of this stuff on ‘safe driving discounts’ on TV. Do I qualify for that?”

    Related:
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance

    The Use Of Regular Is Most Irregular

    | Denton, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, if you could just sign your name on the line, and then write it regular on the line below…”

    Customer: *signs his name and below it writes ‘regular’*

    Brokers With Chokers

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

    Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

    Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”

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