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    The Real Reason For Head-On Collisions

    , | Stockton, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a claims adjuster talking to a driver recently involved in a car accident. I am asking him questions to hear his side of the story of what happened.)

    Me: “So there are 3 lanes on this highway? Were you in the left, middle, or right lane?”

    Driver: “The right lane.”

    (The police report indicates differently.)

    Me: “Are you sure you are in the right lane?”

    Driver: *thinking* “No, no, I was in the LEFT lane! You see, I’m left-handed, so everything is reversed for me.”

    Health Care(less), Part 3

    , | Mississippi, USA | Money

    (I get a lot of billing questions on the phone.)

    Customer: *irately* “I need to know why my insurance was canceled at the end of July.”

    (I look up his policy in our database.)

    Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid your bill since May.”

    Customer: “I have to pay my bill?”

    Related:
    Health Care(less), Part 2
    Health Care(less)

    A Bozo By Any Other Name, Part 3

    , | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (As part of my job, I have to call potential leads and obtain information so that we can give them a quote. I am on the phone with a customer and have just finished obtaining all of the information I need.)

    Me: “That’s all the information I need. One of the agents will contact you within a few days and will send a copy of the quote to your email address.”

    Customer: “What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is Carolyn.”

    Customer: “No. Your name is Carol-INE. Do you mind if I call you Caroline?”

    Me: “Sure?”

    Customer: “Thanks, Carol-INE! Have a good day!”

    Related:
    A Bozo By Any Other Name, Part 2
    A Bozo By Any Other Name

    In Case Of Emergency, Use Brain

    , | Hanover, Germany | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working in the insurance field service. One of many things I have to deal with is containing damages on the telephone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My house is burning!”

    Me: *confused* “Your house is burning?”

    Customer: “My house is burning! What should I do?”

    Me: “Have you called the fire department?”

    Customer: “No, I thought the insurance wanted to see the damage before–” *disconnects*

    Zombies Need Life Insurance Too

    | VA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find out about getting life insurance for my sister.”

    Me: “Okay, I can connect you with an agent.”

    Customer: “Wait, I have a question.”

    Me: “No problem, what is your question?”

    Customer: “Well, my sister died two days ago. Is that going to make it more expensive?”

    Related:
    Zombies Need Retail Contractors Too
    Zombies Need Retail Assistance Too
    Zombies Need Tech Support Too
    Zombies Need Healthcare Too
    Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

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