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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    Getting Your Fax Straight

    , | South Carolina, USA |

    Customer: “I was in an accident last week and the other guy was at fault. His insurance company has totaled my car out and wants my original title. Can you fax it for me?”

    (I think I misheard them, since they won’t receive the original title if I fax it. So, I ask them to clarify.)

    Me: “So, they need a copy of it and you need me to fax it?”

    Customer: “No, fax the original. That’s what they need.”

    Me: “Sorry, but faxing will not result in you having the original.”

    Customer: “No, just fax it. They need the original.”

    (I try several times more to explain that they won’t get an original through fax, without success. Finally, the customer gives up.)

    Customer: “I don’t see what you don’t understand! All you need to do is fax it and they’ll get the original!” *leaves the office grumbling*

    The Real Reason For Head-On Collisions

    , | Stockton, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a claims adjuster talking to a driver recently involved in a car accident. I am asking him questions to hear his side of the story of what happened.)

    Me: “So there are 3 lanes on this highway? Were you in the left, middle, or right lane?”

    Driver: “The right lane.”

    (The police report indicates differently.)

    Me: “Are you sure you are in the right lane?”

    Driver: *thinking* “No, no, I was in the LEFT lane! You see, I’m left-handed, so everything is reversed for me.”

    Health Care(less), Part 3

    , | Mississippi, USA | Money

    (I get a lot of billing questions on the phone.)

    Customer: *irately* “I need to know why my insurance was canceled at the end of July.”

    (I look up his policy in our database.)

    Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid your bill since May.”

    Customer: “I have to pay my bill?”

    Related:
    Health Care(less), Part 2
    Health Care(less)

    A Bozo By Any Other Name, Part 3

    , | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (As part of my job, I have to call potential leads and obtain information so that we can give them a quote. I am on the phone with a customer and have just finished obtaining all of the information I need.)

    Me: “That’s all the information I need. One of the agents will contact you within a few days and will send a copy of the quote to your email address.”

    Customer: “What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is Carolyn.”

    Customer: “No. Your name is Carol-INE. Do you mind if I call you Caroline?”

    Me: “Sure?”

    Customer: “Thanks, Carol-INE! Have a good day!”

    Related:
    A Bozo By Any Other Name, Part 2
    A Bozo By Any Other Name

    In Case Of Emergency, Use Brain

    , | Hanover, Germany | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working in the insurance field service. One of many things I have to deal with is containing damages on the telephone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My house is burning!”

    Me: *confused* “Your house is burning?”

    Customer: “My house is burning! What should I do?”

    Me: “Have you called the fire department?”

    Customer: “No, I thought the insurance wanted to see the damage before–” *disconnects*


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