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    First Get Assurance You Have The Right Insurance

    , | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    Me: “Motor Claims, this is [my name].”

    Customer: “God, finally. I’ve been on hold to you for ages! My claim number is [insert number].”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Here, let me ring this up for you.”

    (I get halfway through before I realize something is off about the number the customer has given me.)

    Customer: “I’m sick to the teeth! I need to know what you guys are doing with my car!”

    Me: “Uhm, ma’am—”

    Customer: “You keep telling me it will be ready this week! Someone will call me back! Blah blah blah!”

    Me: “Ma—”

    Customer: “Just tell me what’s going on with my car!”

    Me: “I… can’t.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “I can’t tell you what’s going on with your car.”

    Customer: “Wait, why not?!”

    Me: “This isn’t one of our claim numbers.”

    Customer: “Is this [other insurance company]?”

    Me: “No, madam. This is [insurance company].”

    Customer: “Well f***. I just wasted half an hour of my life.” *click*

    Being Nice Is Good For Your Health (Insurance)

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Health & Body, Money, Top

    (My insurance company is supposed to cover one physical per calendar year. However, I am surprised to receive a bill from my doctor’s office. With it is a letter from the insurance company stating that they will not cover because I’ve had two physicals in one year. Since I know this is not true, I decide to call.)

    Customer Service Rep: “Hello, this is [name]; how can I help you?”

    Me: “I’m calling to dispute a denied claim. My name is [name] and my birth date is [birthday].”

    Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I’m looking at your information now. Looks like you were denied coverage because you had two physicals in one year, and we only cover one per year.”

    Me: “Yes, I know that. But I didn’t have two in one year. I’m looking at my records and the appointments were a year and a day apart.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Hmm. Let me look at that again. Okay, according to what your doctor sent us, your most recent appointment was December 6th, and last year’s was December 5th. Oh, that is over a year. I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “No worries. So what happened?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Looks like someone on our end entered this year’s appointment as December 4th, which caused the system to reject the claim. I will fix that and re-submit it for you. I am so sorry!”

    Me: “Hey, it’s all right.”

    Customer Service Rep: “I wish I knew who did that! I’m really sorry, it wasn’t me…”

    Me: “I’m not blaming you. I used to work in retail, so I know how it feels to get yelled at by a customer for something that’s out of your control.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh! You understand!”

    Me: “The stories I could tell… so do I need to call my doctor or anything?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Nope. I just resubmitted it with the correct dates. There shouldn’t be any more issues. Thank you for being so nice!”

    Takes One To Serve One

    | CA, USA |

    Worker: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. My name is [name]. How may I help you today?”

    Me: “Hi, my name is [full name]. I went online to get a quote from your company yesterday, and I would like to get my car insurance through you guys. My confirmation number is [number].”

    Worker: “Great! I can help set that up for you. Could I have your name and the last four numbers of your social security number?”

    (I repeat my name, not even thinking about it, and my social.)

    Worker: “Oh, wow, now I feel stupid. You already gave me your name! Wait… you didn’t get upset or anything; you just went along with the program.”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I guess I didn’t even think anything of it.”

    Worker: “Well, I appreciate it. Most customers would have been upset, claiming I didn’t listen or whatever. Okay, next question: what is your area of employment?”

    Me: “I’m a customer service representative.”

    Worker: “Ah, no wonder.”

    Death Of An Insurance Salesman

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a very large insurance company. An angry client calls in with a thick foreign accent. Note that my trouble understanding her is making her aggravated.)

    Client: “Why haven’t you paid me my insurance money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not really understanding the question. Could you clarify a little more for me?”

    Client: “You must pay me the $100,000 for my insurance!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are the insured person on this policy. Who is it that has passed?”

    Client: “No one passes! I need you to pay me my insurance.”

    (This continues back and forth for five minutes.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t pay you the money from your life insurance policy for the same reason you cannot bury a man living in the USA in Canada.”

    Client: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because you’re not dead.”

    Oblivious To The Obvious

    | UT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money

    Me: “Hi, this is [name]from [insurance company]. I’m calling because your policy cancelled for non-payment of premium.”

    Client: “Again?! This happens every month! It’s not my fault though. Can you tell them it’s not my fault?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Client: “See, each time my payment has been due, I’ve been in jail. My probation officer is an a**. Every time I do something illegal he throws me in jail. Every single time!”

    Me: “I can set you up on automatic withdrawal from your bank just in case.”

    Client: “No, I rarely have money. How can I avoid this happening again in the future?”

    Me: “Pay your bill on time?”

    Client: “But, what about the jail thing?”

    Me: “Um… stop breaking the law?”

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