I work in insurance. We have people call to complain about literally everything, including being called “sir”.
One person wanted to claim pregnancy coverage on their accident coverage policy.
Customer: “It was an accident! I didn’t intend to get my wife pregnant!”
When we told him that wasn’t covered, he wanted it to be reviewed. He was told no because it wasn’t considered “unforeseen” circumstances.
I work in personal lines insurance. In our state, the DMV fines you for having a lapse of insurance if you have active tags on the car. Thus, our office, as a rule, tries to make every effort to ensure customers know they are about to lapse for non-payment so they can pay their premiums and avoid that fine.
Depending on expressed preference, our communications can be done via phone call, text, or email. Obviously, if a customer is at risk of lapsing frequently, like every single month, they get used to a lot of contact from our office. We also have a pretty effective caller ID system that will pull up the customer’s profile when we pick up a call from them.
I have been at this job my entire working life and, by default, keep an ear pricked up to my more junior coworkers’ conversations so that I can be ready if they need some help, but sometimes I hear real gems.
One day, a coworker picks up a call and starts her “Thanks for calling…” spiel, but she stops about halfway through, obviously being cut off by the customer.
Coworker: “You are late, but your—” *Pauses* “Wait, what?” *Pauses* “‘Following you’?”
She pauses for the customer to reply.
Coworker: “Um, ma’am, we don’t do that, but is it possible that you have missed some of your car payments?”
Pause.
Coworker: “Ma’am, I think that may be a repo man sent by the bank.”
Pause.
Coworker: “I’m sorry. Good luck. Goodbye.”
[Coworker #2] and I are now staring at the coworker for the story.
Coworker: “Well, it was [Customer]. She cut me off before I finished saying hello.”
[Coworker #2] and I nod; we noticed the cut-off, and this customer hasn’t paid without extra contact from us in recent memory.
Coworker: “Then she said, ‘I know I’m late. I’m gonna pay you as soon as I can. Just stop following me!’ Her account had popped up, so I was about to confirm that she was late and tell her the last day she could pay when I finally registered the last thing she said. When I questioned it, she clarified. She said, ‘Call off the tow truck. I don’t have the money right now. I’ll pay the insurance when I get paid again.’”
She looks concerned.
Coworker: “I mean, if a tow truck is actually following her, it has to be a repo, right?”
We nod.
Coworker: “So I asked; she said she has missed some car payments and seemed to think it through when I pitched that possibility. Then, she said, ‘Well, someone was knocking on my door this morning, but I ignored them and noticed the tow truck shortly after pulling out of the garage and onto the road. They followed me to the drive-thru, and now I’m headed to work, and they are still behind me!’”
She now looks really upset.
Coworker: “I felt so bad, but really, under what authority did she think the insurance company would take the car for unpaid premiums?”
All we could do was throw some well-wishes the customer’s way. I have had so many crazy responses from customers confronted with the fact that they do actually have to pay for insurance, but this one will stick with me forever, I think.
Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 18
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 17
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 16
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 15
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 14
It’s December, and I’ve had to book time off for dental surgery. Normally, the recovery is two or three days, but due to the delightful combo of a tiny mouth, nerves that are about 30% larger than normal, and roots that are 50% longer than normal (which puts the root tips essentially touching the facial nerve along the jawline), the surgeon told me to plan to be out a week minimum.
I’m nervous about dentists anyway, so I am on edge before they even start. Thankfully, they knock me out for it, so I am only vaguely aware at the very end when they are putting the last stitches in.
They move me to a recovery room so I can wake up a bit before going home, and I get a text from my boss. Keep in mind, I’m loopy as heck still.
Boss: “Hey, just to let you know, I’ve calculated the year-end bonuses. It will be added to your final paycheck.”
In my drugged state, I think I have just been fired, and just before Christmas! I panic, of course, and my brain starts going on wild tangents about me not being able to pay my bills, losing my house, etc.
I look at my phone again, and only then do I see the text my boss sent immediately after the first one.
Boss: “You will also be getting a raise, so you will see that on your first January paycheck.”
At the time, all I felt was relief. But once the sedation wore off, I found it hilarious. I told the company VP about it, and he laughed and told me I would never be fired because I know how to do so many aspects of everything in the office besides selling policies and that the office wouldn’t be able to function without me.
It’s definitely nice to be appreciated, but good lord, that’s a lot of pressure!
I work in insurance. One of our client’s vehicles rear-ended another vehicle on the highway. There is a concerning detail in the police report: the person driving the vehicle is not listed on the client’s paperwork. Not authorized, not unauthorized, not listed at all.
I call the client to get some clarification. All names and identifying information are changed for the protection of the individuals involved.
Me: “Hello. I just got a report that your car was involved in an accident. Can you tell me a little about what happened? Is the car in your possession?”
Client: “Yes, my daughter Amanda was driving the vehicle. She didn’t say much about it. She seemed a bit upset.”
Me: “Was anyone else in the vehicle?”
Client: “Yes, my son Bob was in the vehicle.”
Me: “Was… anyone else in the vehicle?”
I can already see where this is going.
Client: “No? Not that I was told about.”
Me: “We have a Mr. Caleb listed as the driver of the vehicle.”
Client: “Caleb? I told him not to come around here anymore! He’s not an authorized driver! He’s not allowed to be with my children.”
Yup. That’s where I thought it was going. Now to figure out if he actually counts as authorized.
Me: “Was there any particular reason?”
Client: “I told him to quit seeing my son! He’s a layabout! Drives recklessly! Gets bad grades! My son is on the Aquabike team! Straight-A student!”
Me: “And is your son, Bob, authorized to drive your vehicle?”
Client: “Yes, he’s twenty. I’ve not changed the car to his name because it would increase the insurance rates, but it’s essentially his car.”
Me: “Was there any reason that he wasn’t driving it?”
Client: “Amanda said he’d been drinking, so she volunteered to drive. She’s such a good girl.”
I decide not to remind the owner that her daughter was actively hiding the fact that her son was dating a young man that she didn’t approve of.
Me: “Well, it sounds like this was an authorized use of the vehicle, so we’re going to be taking the responsibility for it.”
Client: “But I don’t want Caleb driving my vehicle!”
Me: “In the future, then, please fill out paperwork for individuals who are not authorized to drive the vehicle that lists them as explicitly not authorized to drive it. Right now, Caleb falls under a presumption of authorization due to his relationship with your son, the primary user of the vehicle. Do you understand?”
Client: “No! I told him he wasn’t allowed to drive my car! He drives recklessly!”
Me: “I understand, but it seems that you never told us that.”
Client: “I’d like to fill out the paperwork right here! Right now! Today!”
Me: “I’ll get that emailed over to you.”
Client: “Can you fax it?”
This lady has a FAX MACHINE?! Yes. Yes, we can fax it. I haven’t gotten to fax something to a customer in ages! I love using the fax machine!
Me: “Yes, can I have your fax number?”
Client: “It’s [number].”
Me: “And you understand that this paperwork won’t be retroactive, right?”
Client: “Why the h*** not?”
Me: “Uh… legal issues. Blame the state of Minnesota.”
Client: “Oh, you betcha I am. Legal reasons, huh? I’m going to write my senator today! God-d*** Biden!”
Me: “Indeed. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Client: “No, just… Are you sure it can’t be retroactive?”
Me: “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”
Client: “How can I have a nice day knowing that Caleb’s still dating my son?”
Me: “Well… do your best to enjoy any good moments that come along?”
Client: “…Thank you. I will do that.”
And with that, I let her go. Looks like we’ll probably be paying for this one.
We are in a training session on Teams; we can’t see each other.
Coworker: *Coughs*
Trainer: “What was that, [Coworker]?”
Coworker: “Sorry, just a frog in my throat.”
Trainer: “Why have you been eating frogs?”
Me: “The car broke down and was toad away.”
Trainer: “Oh, dear, [My Name], a pun before five o’clock. I was hoping to get later into the evening before having to deal with any puns.”
