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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    Caller: “I would like to get a better auto insurance rate.”

    Me: “I’ll be glad to go over your policy for possible discounts.”

    Caller: “No need. The discount that I want added is one that most people will not qualify for. I belong to an elite group of drivers that do not ever have accidents.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not offer that discount.”

    (Probably because that caller was the only one in that ‘elite’ group.)

    Related:
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
    Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3

    Not Very Re-Insuring

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”

    Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”

    Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”

    Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”

    Will Need To Waive The Wave Excuse

    | Spokane, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Rude & Risque

    (I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”

    Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”

    Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”

    Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”

    Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”

    (There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “Hello. I’ve got an email from you saying you’ve not been able to take my direct debit this month. Why’s that?”

    (I take the customers policy number, confirm his details, and investigate his payments. Nothing’s changed at our end to account for it, so I ask…)

    Me: “Did you have [amount] in your account for the payment?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “And you haven’t told your bank to cancel the direct debit?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No changes, at all, to your bank or finances? Nothing you can think of that may have caused this change?”

    Customer: “Well, I closed my bank account recently…”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

    Failed At The Name Game

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

    (I work at an insurance agency in Colorado. There are only a few other people in my office, none of which are named Steve.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Insurance Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “STEVE?!”

    Me: “No, this is [My Name]. Can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “Where is Steve?”

    Me: “I don’t believe a Steve works here. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I just talked to Steve. I know there is a Steve there.”

    (At this point I realize that it was the customer I just got off the phone with two minutes ago.)

    Me: “Oh, yes! Let me go get Steve for you…” *I deepen my voice a little* “Hello, this is Steve.”

    Customer: “Oh, hi, Steve! Can you tell [My Name] to just transfer my calls to you from now on? I don’t want to talk to him. He doesn’t sound like he knows what he is doing.”

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