High Commission Brain Attrition
(A woman tourist in her late thirties rushes up to my desk, followed by a man who appears to be her husband and three children.)
Tourist: “Ma’am, ma’am, this is an emergency! My family have missed our flight and our passports are gone!”
Me: “I can put you in touch with your high commission, Ma’am.”
Tourist: “Oh, yes! Would you?”
Woman’s husband: “Sweetheart, I have the passports at the hotel.”
Tourist: “Oh. Well, we still missed our flight! It’s June 18th and we were meant to leave on the 12th!”
Me: “Ma’am, may I see your tickets, please? Then I can put you in touch with your travel agent.”
Tourist: “Here you go!”
Me: “Ma’am, see here.”
Tourist: “Yes, June 12th.”
Me: “No, Ma’am. July 12th.”
Tourist: “Oh.”
Woman’s son: *looks about eight* “Oh, mom….”
Tourist: “Oh, yeah, can you give us directions to that museum thing, Ta Pape?”
Me: “You mean Te Papa?”
Tourist: “Yeah.”
Me: “This is Te Papa.”



