• A Very Purr-sonable Cat
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    Where Blow Dry Has Another Meaning

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    (I work at a shopping centre. A customer approaches the desk to ask for directions to a shop.)

    Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Where is ‘Hairhouse Whorehouse?’”

    Me: “Um? Do you mean ‘Hairhouse Warehouse?’”

    Customer: “…Oh, god! What did I just say?!”

    High Commission Brain Attrition

    | New Zealand | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    (A woman tourist  in her late thirties rushes up to my desk, followed by a man who appears to be her husband and three children.)

    Tourist: “Ma’am, ma’am, this is an emergency! My family have missed our flight and our passports are gone!”

    Me: “I can put you in touch with your high commission, Ma’am.”

    Tourist: “Oh, yes! Would you?”

    Woman’s husband: “Sweetheart, I have the passports at the hotel.”

    Tourist: “Oh. Well, we still missed our flight! It’s June 18th and we were meant to leave on the 12th!”

    Me: “Ma’am, may I see your tickets, please? Then I can put you in touch with your travel agent.”

    Tourist: “Here you go!”

    Me: “Ma’am, see here.”

    Tourist: “Yes, June 12th.”

    Me: “No, Ma’am. July 12th.”

    Tourist: “Oh.”

    Woman’s son: *looks about eight* “Oh, mom….”

    Tourist: “Oh, yeah, can you give us directions to that museum thing, Ta Pape?”

    Me: “You mean Te Papa?”

    Tourist: “Yeah.”

    Me: “This is Te Papa.”